The Lost
by mamasutra
Summary: Bella Swan was not normal. She had been born with the gift of seeing the dead, but to her it was a curse. She had sworn off her abilities as she returned to her hometown to live out her final year of high school in an attempt at being normal, but nothing is normal when you are the one hope at redemption for the spirit of a lost boy. *paranormal romance & drama* beta'd
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Beta'd

_**Not all those who wander are lost…**_

The hallway was pitch black and silent in a menacing way that seemed to suck the air out from around us. We scurried along the shadows like rats, passing locked classroom doors until we finally reached our destination. It was odd to see the school so empty, yet invigorating with the energy that seemed to linger from the school days that had passed.

I wasn't sure why we were here or why my father had insisted I go out with these kids when I couldn't remember any of them from my too few of visits to see him. They were strangers with familiar names and plastic smiles that did nothing to hide the curiosity they had when they looked at me.

"So, this is what you do for fun?" I questioned the blonde boy at my side who walked too close to me. I could almost feel the heat of the blush that graced his cheeks in the darkness that surrounded us as he shrugged in response. I had embarrassed him into silence even though that was not my intent. I was just trying to understand why we were stumbling around an empty school in the dark.

_Try to be normal._

It was my new mantra, and if this was normal in this place, I would accept it.

"So, Lauren told you about the ghost, right?" Jess whispered in a hiss of excitement as she dug her claws into my arm in a mix of terror and giddiness. Jess Stanley was my former best friend from when I was five and new found social director since I had moved back into town. It was her insistence that lead me entering the high school after hours with this group of would-be middle class bad-asses. It was ridiculous at best and pathetic at worst, yet I followed them down dark hallways as they whispered of the ghost that haunted these halls.

The mentioning of ghost made me roll my eyes. These people had no idea of spirits or how they wandered almost as aimlessly as what we did on earth.

"Of course I told her," the blonde girl who led the way with only flashlight between the five of us while everyone else trailed behind.

"What I can't believe is that you didn't know about it," the girl bitched as she marched on, forcing us to keep up with her.

"You said she was from here, right?" the girl questioned Jess as she turned back, shining the light in my eyes, blinding me with her light and idiocy.

"Bella lived here until her mom split," Mike countered back as he shot a hand out in front of me in effort to block the blinding light, yet I remained silent. Mike Newton, ever the wanna-be champion. I barely remembered him from my so called previous life here in Forks, except for the fact that when we were five he fell off the jungle gym, breaking his arm in effort to impress me enough for me to show him my panties. It didn't work then and his over protectiveness wasn't working on me now either.

"Whatever," Lauren snickered at the boy who had appointed himself my personal body guard from the moment I came back into town.

"Don't worry about Lauren. She's just a bitch to everyone," he whispered with a wicked grin that made me smile in return. It felt foreign on my face as I nodded my head in agreement while Jess babbled on about the ghost that haunted the halls of West High.

I didn't know Lauren Mallory or the boy that went by Eric who hung off her every word since they had moved here after I had left, not that it mattered since to them, I was the new girl. I was always the new girl since mom never let us stay any where long. We would leave the moment that people suspected something was wrong with me. The nomadic lifestyle mom insisted upon left me with little social skills and no friends.

"So, this guy," Lauren began to ramble excitedly as I felt Mike slip his hand in mine. It was soft and warm with a weak grasp that made my stomach roll with nerves. My body tensed with as the lingering throaty cry of my mother filtered through my mind.

_Try to be normal, Isabella._

It was supposed to be an encouraging reminder to be like everyone else even though I had no idea how to do that. I was out of practice and no idea where to begin when it came to boys or normal behavior that came with high school girls. I was better versed in handling empty rooms and soft whispers of regrets from people who had long been gone.

"He was a student here," she hissed in a rushed tone that forced me to grin over her excitement. It had been what felt like years since I had excitement like that, and it was almost contagious with its giddiness. It was a light feeling that I had long forgotten the warmth of.

"He lost his mind after Professor Noe failed him on his midterm," she explained as Mike walked close to me as if he could protect me from whatever story that was about to slip from her lips."And killed everyone in his chemistry with a machete before finally jumping off the building to kill himself."

"That's bullshit." I could hear Eric call out in disbelief from behind us as we stopped in front of the chemistry room door.

"Oh, yeah?" Jess yelled in a threatening manner that was pure bullshit before being hushed by the bitchy blonde who held the flashlight in her hands.

"You'll scare him away," she bitched as she tried the door handle only to find that the door was unlocked.

"Scare who away?" Eric bellowed out in a loud voice before stepping inside of the room while everyone else watched in fascinated horror.

"I don't believe in ghost," Eric scoffed as he walked in the room while the rest of us waited. Most fools didn't see anything beyond themselves, so I wasn't surprised by his admission.

"Oh my god," Jess hissed in fear to me as she squeezed my free arm tight. The fear in that hovered in the air around us tasted bitter and burned my tongue with its excitement.

"The ghost is going to melt his face off," Jess whispered in a high-pitched hiss as I tried to look excited as well but failed as a sick feeling settled over me. It was always that sick feeling that gave them away.

"That would be an improvement," Lauren cackled softly as she watched the boy walk around the room as if he was challenging the spirit that they claimed resided there.

"Don't worry, Bee. I'll protect you." Mike assured me in an over inflated voice that hinted at the fear that was rolling off of him as Eric strolled through the empty classroom with a mocking grin. Mike didn't understand I wasn't scared. Spirits never scared me. They were predictable. I knew what they wanted. They wanted forgiveness or for their loved ones to know where they had hidden their missing money. It was the living that had always scared the piss out of me.

"Ok, ghost boy," Eric mocked as he walked around while Lauren followed his every move with the flashlight as if it were a spotlight upon him.

"Here we are. Now show yourself!" Eric demanded out loud in a shrill voice that made Jess swallow back a scream while Mike squeezed my hand like a vice as we stood watching, waiting for whatever would happen next.

"Come on, Eric," Mike called out in a dull tone, but I could smell the fear coming off of him as we stood there waiting for nothing to happen.

After a long moment of silence, Eric slowly began to move away from the back desk. He moved in a slow, victorious manner that was taunting in a way as Lauren laughed loudly at the boy who was her newest play thing.

"See?" Eric laughed as he stepped into the girl's embrace as the three of us, who huddled in the door way, watched with embarrassment as they groped out a kiss in front of us.

"Nothing to worry about, right , baby?" he asked her in-between kisses while Lauren giggled, but even her love struck giggle wasn't enough to mask the sound of chalk moving against the old chalk board that was beside them. We watched as Lauren turned with the flashlight in hand to see a word appearing upon the board as if by magic.

_BOO_

There was no time for reaction before the glass beakers that lined the teacher's desk shattered on the ground around them. It was a bold statement by the ghost that Eric had taunted into action. We all watched with amazed horror as Eric and Lauren tried to move only to be greeted with more shattered glass.

There was no time to react or even see the spirit that caused the chaos as Mike, along with Jess, dragged me down the dark hallway with screams and panicked running until we were free from the haunted school.

"Did you see that?" I could hear my so called friend yelling at each other as they all recounted the madness that had surrounded us while I looked back the school in hopes to see who or what could have caused such mayhem but was greeted with empty windows.

"Bella, you ok?" Mike asked as I stood there watching the empty school for some sign of non-life. I could hear the fear ringing loud in clear in his voice with the subtle tremor that he had tried to hide, but there was nothing to fear. He just didn't know that.

"Yeah," I mumbled as the others continued to ignore me as I scanned the windows and door for a glimpse of something that they would never see.

It was then in the moonlight that I saw him.

He was young, maybe my age, with jeans, a plaid shirt rolled up to reveal his pale forearm and a dated looking sweater vest. I couldn't make out his face from the distance that I was from him, but I could feel his icy stare pinning me to the pavement below. I watched him as he stood on the edge of the building, leaning over to watch us run away from the scene that he had clearly orchestrated. It was clear he wasn't worried about falling. It was a telling sign that this boy didn't fear death, and in my short eighteen years, I had only met two kinds of people who didn't fear dying. There were those who longed for death's peaceful darkness and those who were already engulfed with in it, yet wanted out.

**AN: **

**Thanks for reading & giving this story a try. I am always humbled when someone takes their time to read what I have written.**

**Thanks to Tracy, Sarah, Terry, Lou, & Andrea for all the corrections and feedback. You ladies rock : )**

**I have 10 chapters of this written and have plans to update just once a week. I'm thinking Saturdays will work for me so be on the look out this Saturday for the next update. This story will no interfere with my other ones that I plan on finishing. This was just the story I wanted to end on.**

**Love,**

**Mamasutra**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight

*beta'd*

Warning: If some religious themes bother you stop reading now… You're welcome: )

Edward POV

_I heard the soft fluttering of wings alerting me to his presence before the sickly-sweet burnt incense scent that seemed to cling to him like a bad embrace permeated the air between us._

_ "I see you haven't lost your touch with the ladies," he chuckled as I continued to watch the children scramble to their cars. Their loud screams and laughter filled the night air, echoing around me as I watched them. It had been a life time since I had been that carefree. _

_ "They are so young," I mumbled absent mindedly as I watched them while trying to explain my interest in the kids that came calling as I turned to face my tormentor like the man I had been denied to grow into._

_ "So were you," Jasper shot back with a grin as his wide white, majestic wings morphed before my eyes, disappearing to leave him just a man dressed for battle with his gold chest plate and worn red pants. His white wings tucked gracefully in the space behind him making him look equally angelic and menacing all at once. Those damn wings that filled the space around him were the only proof I ever had that Jasper was the angel warrior he claimed to be._

_ "What are you doing here?" I asked him just like I had the countless times before since I had entered what I considered to be my dark days._

_ "Good to see that you have worked on those trust issues that have been plaguing you," Jasper snickered as he leaned upon the metal air conditioning unit that sat heavily upon the aging roof. That was Jasper's way; the laughter, the jokes that were meaningless. He tried to show his sense of humor, his ability to be one of us fallen souls when in reality; he was God's right hand man._

_ "Just go back," I sighed as I turned to walk away from him. It would have been easier just to have willed myself away to some place, maybe home or anywhere else, just to get away from him and his pity-filled gaze._

_ "He's worried about you," Jasper called out to me as I made my escape, stopping me in his tracks with his simple statement that was filled with worry._

_ "He doesn't even know me," I countered as if I felt the stab of guilt in my empty chest for calling out the Father for his lack of care._

_ "He knows all and sees all, Edward," he replied with the patience of a father, even though I knew I was testing all the patience this angel-man possessed._

_ "He misses you," he continued on as I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue in response to his bull shit statement._

_ "Don't," I whispered as the ache of loneliness in my chest swallowed me whole. _

_ "I have spent over a life time alone, waiting, hoping, hell, even praying that he would hear me, yet here I am," I yelled at Jasper, unleashing all the hurt and rage that had twenty-nine years to simmer within me, building as each day passed until I was left this bitter soul without a home._

_ "He's heard every prayer, every cry, every wish," Jasper stated calmly, soothing me, as if his peace would ease my torment, but it did little to ease my pain. _

_ "He needs you, Edward," Jasper called out to me as I stood there challenging him like I had done countless times since our unlikely relationship began._

_ "You lie," I countered as he stood there, looking earnest as only an angel could._

_ "Angels never lie, Edward," Jasper assured me with a grin that was almost sinister in nature as I waited for whatever crazed idea he had conjured up to bring me home for once and for all. _

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to Tracy, Sarah, Andi, Terry & Lou for the corrections and awesome feedback. You ladies are wonderful 3 **

**There won't be very many Edward POV's in this story, so please do not worry about alternating POV all the time. And yes, Edward is a ghost, not a vampire.**

**I will post ch 3 teasers in facebook group Monday as well as the Fic tease site.**

**See next Saturday!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The drive home was loud and rowdy as Jess squealed with excitement over the so-called sighting, but she had no idea.

"I told you!" she screamed at me with frightened delight that made me want to smile as well. Jess was a force of nature. She was bright and innocent in a way that I wasn't sure I had ever been.

"Jess, leave her alone," Mike quickly interjected as I tried not to roll my eyes at his soothing tone. Jess was the least of my worries now.

"Its fine." I assured Mike with a fake grin that seemed to appease him as Jess continued to ramble on in her excitement until we pulled up in front of my new so-called home. I hadn't wanted to live here, but it was better than whatever mom had planned for me.

No one spoke as we all looked at what was waiting for me. Every light in the house was on, causing it to shine bright against the darkness that surrounded it. It was like a beacon of mediocrity that called to me in a weird way since there was comfort in the silence I found there.

"You're dad must be waiting on you," Mike said slowly never taking his eyes off the place. It was clear he was more bothered by the lights than I was, but what he didn't understand was that, this was my father's way of welcoming me home. He knew I hated the darkness even though he never asked me why. It scared me since I knew what lingered in the shadows was sometimes far from good. It was his peculiar way of saying _I love you._

"Yeah, I better go," I whispered as I opened the car door before Mike had a chance to come open it for me like the gentleman he was trying so hard to be.

"Wait!" he yelled after me as I tried to make my escape away from him and the night of chasing some local legend. Try as I might to leave him, I could not when I heard that desperation in his tone. It forced me to stop in my tracks and allow him to catch up with me.

"I'll walk you to the door," Mike announced in a shaky voice that caught me off guard even though it shouldn't have. Maybe it was nervousness. Maybe it was the tinge of want that surprised me. Maybe it was all in my head, just like my mother, to remind me.

_Try to be normal, Isabella._

Her words ran on a constant loop in my mind as I struggled to smile at the boy. Normal teenage girls would be thrilled to have a boy interested in them. A normal girl liked attention. A normal girl was not something that I was.

"Sure," I mumbled causing the boy to smile. It was soft, sweet and shined bright with hope.

We walked in silence to the door while I felt Jess's eyes heavy upon us. They weighed me down, casing me to trip over the cracks in the pavement leading up to the porch. It was that unease that had Mike holding my hand. It was warm and gentle as he interlaced his fingers with mine.

"I was wondering, you know, if you would… If you would like to go out… Maybe the movies?" he asked in an awkward tone that made me cringe internally for the boy. He was interested, and I was only interested in doing my time in this place before leaving for college. I had one year to serve and nowhere in that time did high school romance ever come into play.

"I don't know, Mike." I trailed off slowly as I tried to think of a way to let this boy down without bruising his ego or heart.

"It's just a night, Bella," he replied as his confidence rallied over my indecision.

_Try to be normal, Isabella._

"Let me think about it," I sighed while trying to keep the bitterness directed towards my absent mother out of my voice.

"Sure," he grinned brightly at me as if some battle had been won, but what he had failed to realize was that I was far from a prize.

"Sure," I mumbled as he squeezed the hand he was holding as if to reassure me before turning to leave me there at my door step. It was a sweet gesture, but one that failed to impress me like it should have.

I listened to his footsteps scuffle along the pavement with ease. There was a confidence in his step that made me smile since I had never lived like that.

Mike waited in the car, watching me as Jess continued to yell her good byes from the window while making promises to call tomorrow. It was easy to agree to phone calls or plans to get coffee at the diner. It was everything beyond simple acquaintances that I had failed at when it came to navigating the social scene. With one last wave good bye, I pulled out my new house key. The silver metal was cold in my hand as I struggled with the lock before finally giving up to knock on the door like a visitor so I could be let in.

Dad opened the door quickly with a casual look on his face, but I knew better. He had been waiting and listening to my good byes. He may have disagreed with mom that I needed help, but that didn't mean he trusted me.

"You didn't need to knock, Bee," he chided as he peered out the door to the car where Mike and Jess watched our exchange.

"I couldn't get the key to work," I mumbled, but he wasn't listening to me. He was too wrapped up in watching Mike Newton as he waited for me to enter my home safe and supposedly sound.

"Is that the Newton kid?' he asked as he jerked a thumb in their direction just as Mile pulled away from the curb slowly.

"Yeah," I shrugged as I by stepped him to enter the house.

"Him and Jess Stanley" I explained a little further as his eyes darted form the moving car back to me.

"He's a nice kid," he stated with a smile that was far from honest. I could see through him. He was treading softly. He wanted to know what I had thought of the boy, which only meant he had eavesdropped as Mike asked me out.

"Yeah, he is," I murmured, leaving him twisting in the wind over what I thought about the boy as I skipped up the steps to my new bedroom. He didn't need to know that I thought Mike was nice but bland. He was harmless and would be helpful in my case to prove that I was mentally stable even if mom didn't believe it.

Once in the silence of my room, I stripped for bed. I ignored the shadows that called my name, demanding to be listened to.

"You're not real," I whispered to them even though I knew it was a lie.

"And…I can't help you," I whispered a little louder as I tried to ease the flash of guilt I felt course through me as the spirit of an older woman dressed in a long nightgown whispered her ghost stories to me. It was always the same.

_I need to find my family._

_They need to know…_

It never changed when it came to those spirits left behind. They wanted something. They needed to complete something or right a wrong in order to move on. It was tiresome and had cost me too much in the past, but this was a new start in a new town. I had something to prove even if it was as easy as trying to prove that I could be a normal seventeen-year old girl. Without another word, I grabbed the head phones that I had strategically placed by my bed for moments like this and placed them on my ears. I turned the sound up of the music on my iphone, drowning out the woman's demands for my attention as I closed my eyes, but no matter what I did I could not get the image of the boy who sat on the edge of the roof off my mind.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Thanks to Tracy, Lou, Andi, Terry & Sarah for their inout and corrections. Love you all : )**

**I know this is a little early, but I will be super busy on Saturday so here it is now. I'll be posting teasers for ch 4 in reviews, my facebook page, & Fic Teaser Tuesday for those interested.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

We sat in the squad car that was dad's second home. Both of us were looking at the high school while unease settled in the air around us.

"You went here?" I asked him, trying to find some connection with the man who had always been more of a post card picture than a dad.

"Years ago," he murmured softly as he looked at the again building with a soft expression that hinted at some nostalgia that I had never felt towards any place, telling me what I already knew. I knew he had gone there. I knew that it was within those hallowed halls that he had met my mom. I also knew that it was here that he decided to become a cop even though I never asked him why.

"You ready?" he asked me abruptly, pulling himself out of some lost memory of years gone by. His sudden enthusiasm caught me off guard as I stuttered a response.

I was ready. I had a plan and a calendar that counted down until a late May graduation that would set me free from public education and the rigors that came along with it. I had my future mapped out. I was going to leave this little hell-hole behind and go to college at the University of Iowa. I knew there I would blend in as just another odd kid and not some freak that could see ghosts. It was a simple plan and one that was well within my reach as long as I stuck to the basics.

No ghosts.

"We don't have to you know," Dad continued on as I struggled to open the squad car door.

"You could take another day off. School started here a week ago so what's one more day?" he tempted me with a grin that was half hidden by the moustache that he wore.

"Dad, I just want to get this over," I groaned softly as I looked at him, urging him to understand what I knew he didn't. He had no idea that I was counting on the future to change and change me along with it. I could control my destiny, or at least that was what I had told myself.

"Don't wish your life away, Bell," he stated in a somber tone that surprised me as he looked over at me. His eyes were dark and haunted in a manner that surprised me, but if I was being honest, everything that involved my father surprised me.

I waited for some weird pep talk, similar to what mom would have given to me, telling me how these were the best days of my life, but his words never came. Instead, he just gave me a sad smile while motioning for me to go as he opened his car door.

The walk into the school was silent, but that was fine since we both were lost in our thoughts. While I wasn't quite used to living in this small town, I was slowly learning to love living with dad since he never demanded to know what was on my mind. He didn't expect me to amuse him with my thoughts and for that I was thankful since mom was one who always demanded to be entertained. He was simple, and I was slowly learning to love him because of that.

Dad opened the door for me, ushering me into the school with a sigh that confused me.

"You know, I don't think I've ever been there on your first day of school," he mused aloud as if it was some random thought that had crossed him mind, but I knew better. I could see that this bothered him. There was regret glimmering in his eyes over the years lost between us. It was heavy enough to rob me of any comforting response that I might have been able to offer him, not that it mattered since as soon as we walked in, my eyes were drawn to the trophy cases that lined the walls of the front of school.

The cases were like any others that I had seen in the countless schools that I had been in. They were crowded with old achievements mixed in with new accomplishments, but it wasn't these examples of a winning seasons gone by that caught my eye. It was the aged picture of a boy whose eyes were a bright green with an infectious smile that had me mesmerized. He was cute, but not breathtaking, with his crooked nose and ginger-colored hair, looking like any other boy that had once roamed these halls, but it was clear there was something different about his picture. He wasn't the captured memory of a sports champion or a former class president. He was the boy I had seen the other night dangling over the edge of the roof as if he hadn't a care in the world.

"You ready?" Dad called to me, pulling me away from the picture of the boy that had filled my dreams even though I had told myself that he was not real.

"Sure," I replied with a confident grin that caused my dad to look at me as if I had lost my mind before following him to the office. I walked with a stiff determination, refusing to look back at the picture while reminding myself of what one of the psychiatrists had told me during one of my many visits that my mother had insisted upon in order to _fix_ me, as if I was broken.

_Don't give the voices power._

It was simple advice that he had given me, not that I had ever followed it. I had found that the spirits who contacted me were too loud, too insistent, and I was too weak to ignore them.

"Not this time," I whispered to myself as I steeled myself towards the spirit that I knew was lurking before following my dad into the office to start my new life.

**AN:**

**So, I lied. I decided as I sat down to do review replies that it would be easier to post this quick little chapter since it took us one step closer to interacting with Edward. Hope you don't you mind… As I have stated before, I will post the teaser for now Chapter 5 on my Facebook page, Fic Teasers on Tuesday and the review replies for this chapter.**

**Thanks to Lou, Andi, Sarah, & Tracy for their encouragement as well as red pen corrections. You ladies make my day : )**

**Thanks to you for taking time out of your day to read this and for having faith that paranormal romance include ghosts.**

**Until next Saturday!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The school's guidance office was like every other I had visited. It was decorated with lame-ass motivational posters and scholarship postings. It was supposed to show you the way to your future, yet there was a depressing tone to it that always made me laugh.

"Charlie Swan!"

It was loud and laughter filled, causing me to jump in my seat just as my father answered with an equally loud snort of surprised laughter.

"Billy, good to see you man," my dad said with a pleased smile that seemed to come easy for a man who rarely smiled as he stood up to shake hands with the large man who had bellowed his name.

"What are you doing here? Did the Hunter kid get busted smoking weed in the bathroom again?" the man who was too busy shaking my dad's hand to notice me asked with a tired sigh.

"Not this time." Dad chuckled as I watched the exchange between the men before motioning towards me as I lingered, half hidden behind him. I was unsure as to what I should be doing as I waited to move forward with my plan to finish up my life here in Iowa.

"Oh!" he exclaimed as he held out his hand towards me with a wide, friendly grin that didn't match the cheap looking suit that he was wearing.

"You must be Isabella," he commented as I took hold of the man's hand. It was large and calloused, hinting at some manual labor that seemed opposite from the office job he was currently working.

"Bells, this is an old friend of mine, Billy Black." My dad introduced me as I stood there being shaken with the force of the man's welcoming hand shake.

"Old? Speak for yourself," Billy scoffed as he looked at me with a smile.

"Isabella, it is a pleasure to see you again," he finished as he finally released me from the bear trap that was his hand.

"Come on." He motioned as he urged us to follow him into a cramped office that was lined with windows so everyone could see our exchange.

"You look like your mom," Billy commented as I sat down. His words startled me enough that I stumbled before him.

"You know…" I slowly started to say, but Billy quickly took over.

"Sure sure. Everyone knows Renee," he stated while signing into the ancient computer that sat on his desk while I tried unsuccessfully to swallow the irrational fear that washed over me with the idea of everyone knowing Renee.

"Small town life." He shrugged at his explanation as he glanced back at me with a smile that was friendly enough. I watched him nervously while a sick feeling settled over me like a heavy stone, crushing me with its weight.

"So, what brings you back to Iowa?" Billy asked as I glanced at my dad. It was a silent plea to keep the promise he made me when picked me up from Shady Knoll that going forward there would be no talk of the undefined mental illness that my mother swore I was burdened with, or how going forward I would just be a normal teen even if that was far from the truth.

"So, Billy, Bella was in all honors classes and on track to graduate early at her previous school. What can you do for her here?" dad asked, putting the man back on course while not answering one question as to why I was back after years of being gone. It was subtle and so like the man that I was discovering Charlie Swan to be.

The discussion took an hour as we went over my previous course work and what I still needed to meet the requirements in Iowa. It was simple, yet tiresome, and every time Mr. Black veered off course to ask about my life with mom, dad was there was to rein him back in.

"Thank you," I whispered to him as Mr. Black finally handed me what would be my schedule for the fall semester that had started without me at West High.

"Well, we are sure happy you are here." Mr. Black assured with me a happy grin.

"And don't be a stranger since I know Jacob would love to see you again."

Jacob Black.

He was one of the few friends I remembered from when I would come to visit dad before mom decided trips back to Iowa were too much for me. He was the only one from this town who had ever kept in touch by writing to me long after I stopped coming back to see him.

I remembered him as a kind, yet strange boy who lived in fairytales and books. He hid behind his thick glasses and nervous smiles. He wanted to be wizard when he grew up and cried every time we watched The Wizard of Oz because he was scared of the flying monkeys, not that I was one to ever judge him since I talked to dead people.

"I would like that," I managed to say, earning a rare smile from dad before Mr. Black rambled on about how he would have Jacob give me a call. We walked out into the hallway together, and once more, my eyes were drawn to the picture of the boy with bright green eyes.

_Let it go._

"Bella?" my dad called to me causing me to turn to face him once more. His eyes were warm with what could have been pride, but I hadn't done anything that would have earned that emotion from him.

"You gonna be ok?" he asked me with a smile that did nothing to hide the worry etched upon his face.

"Sure," I assured him with enthusiasm that I had learned to fake during my years with mom. I wasn't sure if I would be ok, but I wanted to believe it. This was new start, and I was not about to waste it.

"Ok,"he said slowly as if his cop instinct was kicking in, and he knew I was lying.

"I will be here after school to pick you up and if you need anything just call me, ok?" He reminded me of what we had agreed upon for what had to be the hundredth time. I nodded happily in agreement and then watched as he left me to deal with my new start alone.

I watched him leave before turning back towards the picture once more. There was mystery in that boy's smile, but I wasn't there to solve a mystery. I was there to move forward and that was it.

Abruptly, the bell rang announcing the next period and the fact that I was officially a senior at West High. I joined the flow of the students as they filled the halls with loud voices and laughter. I wasn't sure exactly where I was going, but I had refused a guide like Mr. Black had offered me. I was a grown woman. I had experienced life and had dealt with death, so I felt like I was beyond the need for stupid tour guide.

I followed the curves of the hallway until I stumbled into what was considered the Language Arts wing of the school as my next class was creative writing. I had barely made it in the class room door when I saw him. He was sitting on the granite counter top next to the windows. He looked bored as he stared out into the quad below with a frown on his face that was more comical than frightening. He made no move and didn't bother to look up as the teacher called off names or yelled for the paper that would have been assigned the Friday before. It was like he was oblivious to commotion around him and maybe after all the time he had spent alone he was.

"Isabella Swan?" Mrs. Blakely called out, pulling my attention away from the spirit who sat amongst the living like it was no big deal. At the mention of my name, the boy turned and looked at me with an amused look that lasted all of a second as his eyes met mine. I watched as the amusement faded, and the dawning of amazement filled his bright green eyes.

This was the moment I dreaded and loved. It was the moment of truth that haunted me with each spirit I had ever encountered, but not this time. I was done with spirits and the trouble they caused within my life. I was done doing the bidding of the dead only to be treated like I was insane. I was done with it all and no amount of wonderment in that boy's eyes was going to change that.

AN:

Thanks for reading! Thanks to Andi, Tracy, Sarah, Terry, & Lou. Much love to you ladies: )

I am kicking around the idea of updating Ch 6 on tomorrow, but I will still honor all reviews with a teaser for ch 6.

Until later….

Xoxo

Mamasutra


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I waited with baited breath as the boy looked at me. His silver eyes shined bright with amusement before he abruptly turned back towards the window as if he was trying to hide his smile. It left me oddly deflated yet so damn happy that I could barely contain myself since it was rare for a spirit not to recognize who I was in their world.

"Isabella?" Mrs. Blakely questioned with a haughty tone that demanded my attention. The older woman had her nose buried in my file, reading up on what previous schools had to say about me, as if they had any idea who I was. I cringed over the idea of what might be written since other school officials had my mother in their ears. They heard her cries of being the mother of a troubled child and embraced her over it. It was their encouragement in my mother's flight of fancy that had landed in me in the psych ward of one or more hospitals.

"What are you reading?" I asked Mrs. Blakely, not caring that it was intrusive since the woman was reading through my life without asking. The woman looked up at me with a startled look before correcting it with a nasty smirk on her aging face. It made her look evil in a way that I had not seen, even on the face of a demon. It was telling in more ways than one since there was something about this woman that did not sit well with me. Maybe it was the coldness in her tone or the lack of apathy in her eyes. Maybe it was the darkness in her eyes that hinted at the sinister side of her true nature.

"So, you've taken creative writing before?" she demanded from me as the other students in the room suddenly took interest in our conversation. I could feel their eyes heavy upon me as I stood, frozen in place while waiting for further direction from our instructor.

I didn't know her, but I had no doubt that I would hate this woman.

"Yes, but it was freshmen year," I mumbled as I felt wave of heat crash over me, burning me up from the inside out as a prickling of perspiration started to form at the small of back. It was a sick, sticky feeling that left me queasy as I continued to watch her flip, page after page, through a file that I knew contained lies about me. The other students watched and waited to see what her next move would be. It was clear that this was her MO. This was what she did to exert her power, to put a student in their place with her condescending tone and behavior. It was humiliating in way to stand before all of them and wait for whatever bitingly innocent comment she was formulating next in that weak mind of hers.

"Well, I don't know how your previous class was, but I believe in taking writing seriously. Are you a serious writer, Isabella?" the woman asked me in a harsh tone, clearly offended that I had taken another writing class years before ever walking through her class room door. It was a ridiculous display of what little power she had and one that I did not appreciate since I had only taken the class for an easy grade.

"I…uh… I don't know," I stuttered as ghost boy turned to look at me once more with a teasing smile that I could not ignore before Mrs. Blakely sighed in a loud exasperated manner. He was enjoying my discomfort; it was clear with the smart ass grin on his face as he watched me squirm before all of them, both living and dead.

"Well, Ms. Swan, you better figure that out pretty quickly," she snipped at me, making no sense while dismissing me with a wave of her hand, even though I had nowhere to go.

"Fucking A, Sue! Leave the girl alone!" he called out in a booming voice with a matching laugh that no one could hear, except me. It was loud and rich with laughter as he shook his over-gelled head in what could have been disbelief, not that it mattered since I didn't care. I told myself that no matter what, I wouldn't care.

_You have plans._

"I can smell the stench of failed writer on you from all the way over here," he called with a laugh, clearly entertaining himself with his odd commentary. I had been around countless spirits, but I had never encountered one that tried to engage with the living like this one was. It was endearing in a way that I was not expecting since all the spirits I had ever encountered had not seemed so attached to the living like this boy appeared to be. He was at ease in the classroom, even if he was out of place amongst the living. His simple 501 button-fly jeans pegged at the ankle and the dark button up shirt with a matching sweater vest screamed 1980's. He was young, too young to be a ghost, even though I had seen much younger.

"Take a seat in the back," Mrs. Blakely stated with a flick of her wrist in a demeaning manner that had me biting my tongue to keep the smart ass comments from flying out as she demanded my attention once more.

I turned back towards the class and looked towards the empty table in the far back. On any other day and in any other situation, I would have loved my assigned seat. It was secluded and close to the windows. It was separate from the students, yet close enough that I wasn't completely avoiding them. It was a prime place that would allow me the chance to day dream while being able to mask it by having my head cocked just right so that Mrs. Blakely would never know. It was perfection in all ways except for the spirit that had his feet propped up on the table top like he owned the space around him.

"Ok, class let's tell Isabella what we mean by taking our writing seriously," she instructed as she called class to order.

"Seriously?" the boy mumbled with such disdain that one might have mistaken him for a classmate if it weren't for the fact that he was dead.

"No one cares, Sue," he sighed in an exaggerated manner as he moved next to me, sitting in the empty seat as if he was falling into line like any other student in the room.

I tried to ignore him, but his constant movement combined with his nonstop bitching was completely distracting, not that he noticed. He was too enthralled with the sound of his own voice and entertaining himself in the midst of the monotony that surrounded him.

"What you ought to tell them about is how when you were in high school you were in the remedial classes, so these kids are getting the best of the best when it comes to their education," he laughed loudly, drowning out Mrs. Blakely with his commentary.

"Or how about how you sucked off almost every guy in our graduating class? I mean, I don't know about bird-girl here, but I bet everyone would want to actually want to hear that story, not the one where you were almost published, but weren't," he snickered in a dirty manner that made me gasp in surprise while jerking a thumb in my direction as if I was co conspirator and not the wanna-be normal girl who wasn't supposed to see or hear him.

I twisted nervously in my seat trying to put space between us, not that he noticed. He was too busy tearing the students apart one by one, not that it mattered since no one could hear him, except me. I closed my eyes and tried to listen to the loud pretentious droning of the teacher, but all I could hear was this boy and his nonsense mixed with the lame nick name he had given me.

_Bird girl._

I wasn't sure if I was more disturbed by the nickname, the fact that he was directing conversation towards me, or the fact that I couldn't tell him to shut up without blowing my cover as a normal.

"Oh goody, Tits McGee over there has something brilliant to share," he chuckled loudly and contagiously as he motioned towards the girl in the front with shirt cut so low that her boobs were practically spilling out of the wisp of fabric that covered them. I listened to her soft voice as she read from her journal, as if any one gave a fuck what she had written.

"You know, I swear each and every year the student body becomes dumber," he tsk'd as I strained to listen to some senseless poems that Tits just had to share.

"It's like all the inbreeding in this damn place has finally caught up and rendered you all useless," he laughed humorlessly as I leaned away from him, straining to hear what the dumb girl had to say, but ghost boy was too loud. His melodic voice and bright laughter filled the space around me, making me wish that I wasn't interested in what he had said, yet I was. He was funny and crude with his comments, but it was more than just what he had to say. It was his laughter. It was deep and throaty. It wasn't the sad sounds of a lost soul that I had heard countless times. Sure, there was no doubt that this boy was lost, but he didn't seem to mind that he was.

I listened to his commentary as student after student went over their writing until finally Mrs. Blakely looked at me.

"Isabella, while I am sure you have no writing to share, I would like for you to tell the class about yourself," she announced as I felt the eyes of everyone in the class room come to rest upon me.

"I don't know what to say," I stuttered as I felt the boy stare at me with those damn bright smoke gray eyes of his. They were dancing with a passion that I hadn't seen in the living, let alone the dead.

"Oh come on, Bird Girl, don't be shy," he teased as I felt heat rush through me until it was creeping up my neck, swallowing me whole with a life threatening level of embarrassment.

"Where are you from?" she asked me as I looked around the room, avoiding the ghost that was waiting to mock me.

"I was born here in Muscatine, but I grew up…everywhere," I explained lamely since it was simpler to say that instead of listing every city that mom and I had lived in.

"Oh, Bird Girl, you are losing them. See, the sad girl over there is already thinking about the next thing she wants to cry over." The boy's mockery rang loud in my ears, causing my face to burn red hot while my stomach twisted tight with nerves. Not surprisingly, he was right. The other students were starting to shift in their seats, looking for the next victim that would be forced to talk, not that I cared. I just wanted to be done and for the boy to leave me alone. Neither one was going to happen.

"I love the color pink and punk rock," I stuttering as I refused to look in his direction, but instead focusing on the blank faces of the living that surrounded me. It didn't matter though since I could hear his exaggerated sigh of boredom.

"I… I…" I sputtered slowly as I felt him stand up beside the table, pulling me with him like no other spirit had. It was over powering, and I fought to keep focused on those around me as I found myself at a loss of words to say.

"Is everything ok?" Mrs. Blakely asked in a bitchy tone as I glanced from her to over the soulless eyes of my classmates before my eyes settled upon the ghost boy who was pulling me with him with each sway of his soundless steps on the linoleum beneath him. She wanted to me fail. I could feel it with her words that were heavy with the hope that I was on the verge of freaking out, but she had no idea. I was lost to the boy who was pacing the room completely oblivious to everyone around him.

"Come on, Bird Girl, pull it together," he mocked with a laugh, calling me by that ridiculous nickname that was completely unoriginal for boy who had nothing but time on his hands to waste in an aging school filled with townies that were headed nowhere fast.

"Do you need a moment?" she demanded in a condescending manner as my eyes drifted back to the spirit to my left. The boy was back to sitting on the counter, except this time he was staring at me. Long gone was the interest in those around us as he turned towards me, waiting for me to say anything just like the every other living person in the class room. His eyes were bright as they focused upon me, robbing me of my ability to speak since I sputtered like an idiot before everyone.

I tried to take a deep breath, but there was something about knowing that no matter what I said, it would be greeted with her smart ass grin as he mocked me. I looked around the room trying to make my escape, but there was nowhere to go. I was as trapped as the spirit whose laughter was ringing in my ears.

"Maybe you need to sit down," the bitchy teacher suggested with a snide grin that almost showed her fangs while the boy laughed loud and hauntingly around us. It was that cackling laughter that rang through my head, mixing with my mother's cruel laughter. It robbed me of my ability to think as I struggled to remain upright while all of these foreign faces stared at me. I felt the room shift beneath me as panic set in, causing the room's walls to close in as I found myself struggling to breathe.

It was too much: the sights, the sounds, the other kids, the asshole teacher, but most of all, the boy. The boy who had forgotten he was dead was laughing at me as if I was placed in that room for his entertainment only.

_You are in control._

_ You can handle this._

_ You can do this._

The pep talk I had created for moments like these did little to ease the insanity that I was I slowly slipping into as everyone's staring at me became more pronounced as the sounds of my struggle to breathe filled the room while the boy laughed in the background like the damn mad hatter that he had become to me.

"Would you shut the fuck up?" I demanded without thinking as I cried for the swaying earth and the loud laughter to stop. I turned towards him, my eyes focused on his pale, yet handsome face as I let out a howl of irritation that caused everyone in the room to gasp in stunned amazement, including the living dead boy. His silver eyes were wide with disbelief as he stared at me, uncertain as what to expect, but certainly quiet as we locked our eyes in a heated exchange before I looked away.

It was over.

My charade of a normal life was blown before it even truly had a chance to begin.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to Sarah, Andi, Tracy, Lou & Terry for all the responses & red pen corrections : ) You ladies rock : )**

**OK, this is it for the weekend! I will be posting a teaser for ch 7 in review responses, my face book page Mamasutra Moments & Fic Tease Tuesday.**

**Until next week!**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I sat on the hard wooden bench outside of Mr. Black's office, waiting while straining to listen to what was going down between him and my dad.

"You can see me," the boy kept repeating to me with an astonished tone that made me want to laugh at his ridiculous response, but there was nothing laughable about what was going on. It was always conversations like these that lead to hospital stays followed by a new school to try again.

"Do you have any idea…" The boy rambled on with a slightly hysterical laugh that made me cringe as I listened to him jump on the preverbal crazy train like most of the lost did when they discovered that I could see them. It was too much to deal with- a shitty situation that I had created with my own lack of ability to control my life.

"Listen," I hissed at the boy without looking at him since looking at him would only encourage the half-assed crazy spirit at my side just as the secretary walked out of ear shot from us.

"Oh my fucking god, you have no idea how long I have waited for you, bird girl," he laughed happily before silencing to listen to whatever message I had for him.

"I don't….I'm not here to help you. I can't. I'm… I'm done with that," I stuttered in a soft whisper as I looked straight ahead of me. I focused on the anti-drug poster that hung on the lower desk, reminding kids not to be fucking morons and do drugs.

_Just say no._

That would be my new motto since my last one had failed so miserably.

"Go away," I urged him as he fell silent beside me.

"Go into the light and just…just leave me alone," I growled at him in anger as I glanced towards the shadow of my dad sitting across from Mr. Black, most likely planning my committal as I sat there waiting.

The boy was so silent I wasn't sure that he hadn't left me until I heard his dark laughter that send a chill down my back as I felt the air around us charge heavy and bright with his anger. It was red and orange. It burned the air between us, stunning me with its beauty.

"You think I can just go into the light?" he asked me in a loud voice that boomed in the small room.

"You think that it's that fucking easy?" he demanded as I tried to ignore him, but it was impossible. The boy had made it impossible. He had moved from beside me so that he was kneeling before me, trying to make it so I had no choice but to see him.

"Bird girl," he sighed in a frustrated manner before trying to run a hand through his overly gelled hair.

"I know this must be weird for you. I mean, I can't imagine how difficult it must be to have all of this just… just fucking thrown at you," he began slowly as if he were talking to a person new to this curse. That only showed how wrong he was. Just hearing him trying to ease what fear I must have over a situation that I had lived with since as far back as I could remember caused a bubble of laughter to escape my lips.

"You think you're my first?" I cackled out loud, not even bothering to whisper my disdain.

"Well, you are too late for that. I've been seeing the lost as far back as I can remember," I growled at him as I looked at the boy for what felt like the first time. His dove gray eyes were hypnotic as he stared at me in what could only be disbelief.

"But no more! I'm done! You're on your own here ghost boy!" I yelled out loud into the silence of the office just as the secretary returned. Her dark look of judgment silenced me faster than the boy's look of stunned uncertainty as he mouthed the words _ghost boy_.

"No, _you _listen," he rumbled at me while still on his knees. He wasn't touching me, but I could feel the drop in temperature between us as I watched him ball his fist in anger while he glared at me.

"I have not waited this long for something to happen, for s_omeone_ to actually hear me or fucking see me for you to refuse," he bitched just as Mr. Black's door swung open. It was exactly what I needed to focus on instead of the angry lost boy on his knees before me.

"Bella?" my father questioned, pulling my stare away from the silver eyes of the boy back to focus on him. He looked pale, but outside of that, there was nothing that hinted at what type of reaction I should brace myself for.

"You ready?" he asked as if he wasn't called to the school to deal with his daughter's irrational demand for the voices in the room to shut the fuck up.

"Sure," I managed to say in a voice that sounded nothing like my own.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me!" I listened to the boy grumble as he scrambled to standing as I moved away from him to leave the school behind. He dogged my every step as I followed my father out of the office while the secretary watched us go with a scowl on her pinched face.

I ignored the boy as I skipped over puddles from the morning rain until reaching the police cruiser that he left parked in a no parking zone in front of the school. It wasn't until we all were in the car that my father finally decided to speak.

"Bella," he signed heavily as I watched him rub at his face in what could have been frustration or misery- I couldn't tell which, and I was too scared to find out what exactly it was that he was thinking.

"You can't…" he began slowly as he struggled for words, giving me the chance to take over the conversation before I found myself locked up once more.

"Dad, I promise… I promise I will never again talk…" I began, stuttering over my words as the boy joined in just to antagonize me.

"You don't really believe for one fucking moment that she's telling you the truth, do you Charlie?" he asked with a snarky laugh that caused me to stumble over my tongue as he called my dad by name.

"Would you please just…?" I murmured to the boy, pleading with him as dad watched me with a nervous look on his face.

"Bella, I have no idea what happened in there," dad interjected, taking over the conversation once more with his gruff statement that made me frown since I knew where this was going. I had been on the receiving end of these conversations before. They never ended well for anyone especially me.

"Dad, please?" I whispered as I fought back the tears that threatened to spill over my cheeks as I watched all my dreams turn to ash before me, which oddly enough was the same color of the boy's eyes.

My pleading seemed to work as I watched my dad take in a shuddering breath before exhaling loudly in what could only be considered defeat.

"Bella, I don't know what happened in the past, but… but it doesn't matter, ok?" he assured me with a grim smile that caused my heart to leap in my chest as I slowly realized what he was saying.

"And I know Sue Blakely," he grumbled darkly as if that was explanation n enough for my peculiar lashing out in her classroom.

"Oh, you have got to be fucking kidding me!" The boy lashed out in anger from the back of the squad car, refusing to see the free pass I had been given by my mostly absent father.

"Charlie, you are damn fool," he muttered as I bit back my grin just as dad suggested a trip to the diner since I was given the rest of the day off from school to think about what I had done. I listened as Dad explained how there were no repercussions for my freak out while the boy bitched in the background.

"I just need you to promise that going forward you will tell me if any of the teacher are being mean to you, ok?" he asked of me with a serious expression as he laid the blame of my bad behavior at the teachers feet just like any other clueless parent would.

"Of course," I grinned as the boy groaned his disappointment loudly just for my ears just as dad parked the car.

"This is fucking ridiculous," he grumbled as dad opened his car door and got out as I followed by him, hoping to leave the boy behind, but it didn't work. Instead, the boy followed us. His steps were heavy and loud on the pavement bellow us: even though I was the only one who could hear them.

I ignored him as dad led me into the empty diner. I watched as the waitresses jumped to attention while my ghost boy stumbled over my steps to keep up. I listened as dad ordered us both a piece of pie with ice cream followed by coffee while the boy sulked beside me, not that dad ever noticed him.

"I cannot believe he is rewarding you for telling your teacher to shut the fuck up," the boy grumbled as I bit back with snotty grin with a bite of ice cream.

"What a fucking joke," he bitched as dad thanked the waitress with a wink and a grin for our fast service.

"Back in my day you would have been expelled."

"Listen, Bella," dad began slowly as he talked over the boy.

"You would have at least gotten bitched at, not treated to ice cream and pie by the mustached wonder here," the boy scoffed as he leaned against me. I could feel the coolness of his body against mine, not that it surprised me. I was used to the cold touch; I even expected it knowing that there was no warmth when there was no life, but this was different. I could feel him against me, and he felt real, alive, and vibrant. It was unnerving since this was not how it was supposed to be.

"I can't have you talking to your teachers like that, even if they deserve it."

"I cannot believe that you are getting away with this," the boy grumbled in a low, husky voice as he pressed closer to me.

"Jesus, you're warm," he murmured with a happy sigh as I tried to listen to my dad talk, but it was useless as the boy sat by me, not giving me an inch of space.

"What the hell is that buzzing sound?" Dad demanded abruptly causing me stiffen as the boy rolled his eyes in response. I wondered for a spilt second if dad could hear the ramblings of my angry ghost before realizing that it was a ridiculous thought.

"Charlie." I heard another man call out in a somber tone that caused both me and the boy to look up at the man. I had no idea who it was or how he knew my dad, but the boy seemed to know.

"Emmett," dad greeted him with a smile that seemed off as he held out his hand to the man in greeting.

The boy's silence gave me a chance to actually look at this man who was interrupting my so called father/daughter moment, not that I minded at all.

"Who's this?" he asked me as he motioned towards me as I sat there, tongue tied as how to respond to this man's gruff demand to be introduced.

"Emmett, this is my daughter Bella," dad announced with a whisper of pride in his voice that made me cringe out a smile since I wasn't used to being someone that others were proud of.

"Bella, this is an old high school friend of mine, Emmett Cullen," dad stated as he motioned towards the man with a tight smile. Emmett took my hand in his over large one and shook it gently in welcome.

His dull green eyes that were so familiar looked me over critically and with a sad sense of longing as if he had missed something just by seeing me.

"She looks like Renee," he announced before both men kinda laughed in an awkward manner that made no sense.

"Have you heard from Angela?" he asked my father abruptly, causing my father to cringe before he masked it with a smile.

"Last I heard she had married some guy out of DeKalb and was doing real well," he stated with a sigh as we both watched the man crumble a little right before our eyes.

"That's… good. That's real good," he whispered slowly, making it clear there was nothing good about the woman's happy life as he looked down at the worn out tiles beneath his feet. His distraction gave me a chance to actually look at this man who was supposedly a friend of my father.

Emmett Cullen looked exhausted. There was something so broken about his soul that it aged him beyond his forty some odd years. His dark hair was streaked with gray, and his dull eyes showed a sadness that engulfed him completely. He was painful to look at, and I wasn't the only one who felt that way since I could see my dad looking away from the man with a sad scowl on his face.

"Listen, I was wondering if you had given any thought to what I had given you." The man wavered as my dad took a deep breath. I waited for the ghost boy beside me to say something sarcastic, but he was silent. His eyes were trained on the broken man who stood before our table.

"Emmett, I told you I would look at it because you are my friend but don't expect anything to come from it," my dad warned him as the man as I watched him ball his fists in frustration over my father's warning.

"You said…" he responded in a tight voice that was slowly growing louder.

"I said I would look at it, but it has been twenty-nine years, man."

"I don't care how long it takes, Charlie," the man shot back in a harsh growl that caused me jump in surprise. I quickly felt the oddly calming touch of the ghost boy at my side. His hand slid over mine in a soothing manner as he leaned into whisper in ear, even though there was no need to whisper. No one could hear him except me.

"He won't hurt you."

It was a ghostly promise by a boy that I wasn't even sure of his name, yet I believed him.

"She killed him!" he yelled at my father as I watched my dad looked down at the half eaten pie before him in what could have been embarrassment, but I couldn't tell.

"You know she did. You know he wouldn't have…. He wouldn't have… He wouldn't have…" the man stuttered, swallowing the words he wanted to say as if they were too painful to say aloud.

"I know, Emmett. I know, and I promise you that if there were anything that I could do to prove it… you know, god damn it, you know I would do something, but… I've got nothing, and this isn't the place," he half pleaded with the man, not that it mattered since as soon as the words left his mouth the man turned abruptly on his heel and left us.

"What was that about?" I asked him as felt the weight of the ghost boy suddenly gone, not that I missed his intrusive behavior.

"His brother died some years ago, and he's just had some trouble with it since then." My dad sighed sadly as we both watched the man leave, but what dad couldn't see was the ghost boy tucked close to the broken man's side as if he were trying to comfort him.

**AN:**

**As always, I thank you for reading this : )**

**Thanks to Tracy, And, Sarah, Lou & Terry for their corrections and opinions that they share. You all have been a god send!**

**I will post the CH 8 teaser in all review replies, my facebook page & Fic Teasers Tuesday. Sorry I missed this week on Fic Tease. I wasn't feeling so good, but I promise to get that teaser in this time.**

**Until next week!**

**Love,**

**Mamasutra**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Dad took me home, and I was alone. I wanted to be relieved, and for the most I was, yet there was a nagging feeling that something was off, that I was off.

_You can do this._

I had whispered this sentiment to myself countless times, but this was the first time I had ever doubted it.

I occupied my time alternately reading and staring at the walls around me while ignoring the spirit of an old woman who followed me around whispering about letters and pictures hidden in the floor boards of my room that told her story. I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't interested in her story. I couldn't allow myself the luxury of hearing her doomed romance from years ago when I was too focused on forgetting the boy whom I spent the morning with. I could get over his obnoxious behavior and his rude laughter, but the image of his smoke-colored eyes wide with concerned grief haunted me as much as what he had.

Time continued to pass as I tried not to think about him, and even the old woman's spirit grew bored with my lack of response to her wailing before disappearing into the walls around me with a scowl of irritation.

My cell phone rang out the shrill chimes that alerted me to a call, pulling me out of my self-induced emotional coma and back to reality. I fumbled for a moment before finally picking up the receiver with a whispered groan.

"Hey Bella!" The voice boomed loud and happy out at me from the other side. It took a moment before I realized who was so happily greeting me.

"It's me... Mike, Mike Newton?" His voice faded off into uncertainty as I shook my head.

"Oh, hey, Mike," I greeted him as I felt the sick twist in my stomach as he began with his list of questions that all centered on school.

"So, I heard about Mrs. Blakely," he said with a laugh that didn't sit well with me. It was off and slightly sinister in a way that surprised me.

"Yeah, I…uh," I began, but he just laughed again.

"I had no idea that you were such a bad ass," he teased as I choked on his words.

"I mean, I could tell you were a girl who wasn't afraid to be herself, but I had no idea," he snickered as I swallowed my tongue.

"I'm not... I'm not that girl," I stuttered as shook my head no, not that it mattered since he couldn't see me.

"No, it's cool, Bella. Everyone is dying to meet the girl who finally told Blakely to shut the fuck up. You have no idea who many people are talking about you right now." He laughed in an excited manner while I bit my tongue in response. The idea of everyone talking about me made my stomach turn as every memory of former school mates' whispers ran through my head.

_Freak._

"I… Uh… I should really…" I struggled to end the phone call, but Mike was oblivious to my growing panic.

"Oh!" he exclaimed as he finally caught on that I was trying to get off the phone.

"Yeah, I probably should let you go. I have...uh… homework," he announced with a nervous laugh that made me smile since it was a reminder that this boy still believed I was like him. He didn't know about the weirdness that engulfed my life or the pills I was supposed to take to make me normal like mom wanted me to be.

"Hey?" I called out as he was ending the call since a question had just popped into my mind that needed to be answered.

"How did you get my phone number?" I asked with a nervous laugh as I tried to wrap my head around the idea that this normal boy liked me.

"It's a small town, Bella," he offered up as an excuse like that was all I needed to know as far his methods to contact me, but it still left me cold inside.

"It's no big deal," he went on to say as I tried to quell the unease that swelled inside of me over the idea of him tracking down my cell phone number while he mumbled his good bye.

The rest of the evening went slowly. I tried to talk to my dad, who really had nothing to say. He was bothered. I could see it in the way he was lost in his own world, but who was I to judge? Instead, I focused on the minutes as they passed until it was finally late enough that I could announce that I was going to take a shower and go to bed. I listened to Dad's distracted good night as I skipped up the steps, thankful for whatever distraction consumed him since it meant I wasn't forced to hold another awkward conversation with the man.

With a happy hum escaping my lips, I slipped into the bathroom with my pajamas in hand. I was done with day and more than ready to wash off the filth that came with it. I quickly shut and locked the door, reveling in the fact that I could lock the door since that was such a rarity for me. Locks and privacy were something that I had always been denied by my mom as well at any hospital that I had stayed at, so this new found freedom at Dad's house was intoxicating.

I quickly stripped, gritting my teeth against the cold air that touched my skin before stepping into the steaming water oasis that awaited me. I slowly lathered my skin with the fruity body wash that had been bought for me while letting the stress of another failed day wash away.

It was bound to happen, or at least that was that was what I tried to find comfort in. There was no way to avoid the boy. He was everywhere and nowhere all at once. He would have eventually caught on no matter how good I would have been or how much I would have ignored him. Spirits always know, so now the name of my game would be all about avoidance. I didn't have to engage him. I wasn't forced to talk or help him. The only commitment I had was to me, not some boy who had died years ago and suddenly needed a favor.

By the time I had lathered, rinsed, and repeated multiple times, I had come to terms with what had happened that day. I was determined not fail, and by failure, I meant no more freaks outs and no more contact with a boy who had boundary issues. No more causing a scene since it was what resulted in a hospital stay to help sort out my supposed issues. I had washed off the day and was ready to start anew once more.

_You can do this._

_ The future is yours._

I pulled back the shower curtain with a grin and nod at the new start that the next day would provide me; after all, there is always tomorrow. It was with that comforting thought that I found him standing there. He was leaning against the door as if he was waiting on me to get done with the shower, but his wide eyes gave him away. They were bright, like silver, with wry amusement and the hint of appreciation as he took in my wet, naked form just like any living boy might if one had caught me coming out of the shower like he had.

The scream that erupted from my lips caused the ghost boy to jump with unneeded fright as I scrambled for a towel to cover myself. It was loud and shrieking as he covered his ears, but not his eyes as I floundered naked before him. His gray eyes followed each bounce and sway of my breasts as I struggled to cover myself.

"Calm down," he yelled at me as if it were nothing for him to be waiting for me in the bathroom.

"Get out!" I managed through gritted teeth as I shoved at his form as if he was a real boy instead of the specter he truly was. I expected to push through him to the wooden door behind him, but was met with what would be his hard form.

"Easy there, bird girl. You're going to put an eye out with one of those" he gaffed in a lewd manner as he motioned towards my breast in such a manner that caused my face to burn red.

"Bella?" dad yelled at me as he tried the lock door before pounding menacing upon the wood that separated us. It's booming sound caused the boy to jump with would be terror as I finally secured the thin terry cloth towel to over my skin from his prying eyes.

"You ok?" Dad questioned nervously, but I could hear the unneeded panic in his voice as I stood nose to nose with the boy who was determined to haunt me.

"Yeah," I called back with a strangled sigh as I realized that nothing I could say would explain what had happened or who was waiting for me as I got out of the shower.

"Yeah, I thought I saw I ghost," I mocked with a wide grin for the boy who could only roll his eyes at me.

"I'm not a ghost," he mumbled in a low whisper as I listened to my dad called out that he would be down stairs if I needed him, not that I would. I listened to his retreating footsteps until I knew he was gone before responding to this boy.

"I don't give a fuck what you are, I just want you gone," I whispered in a low hiss, earning a handsome smile from the boy as he stood there.

"After a welcoming like that I assure you that I won't be going anywhere any time soon,"

A**N:**

**Thanks for taking your time by reading this. I appriecateappreciate it greatly.**

**Thanks to Andi, Sarah, Terry, Lou & Tracy for their pre reading and red pen. Any lingering mistakes are mine since I have played around with this chapter a bit.**

**It's an early post, but I will be pretty busy this weekend making posting impossible & I didn't want to miss out.**

**As always, I will send out a teaser for the next chapter w/ all reviews as well as post it on my Facebook page Mamasutra Moments, & on Tuesday Fic Teasers.**

**Until next week : )**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

The boy followed me back to my room, taking each step I made with me as he rambled on with his nonsense while I pretended he did not exist.

"Did you know there is a woman in your closet?" he asked me as he jerked a pale thumb towards the closed closet door. I was more than aware that the woman hung out there, but I didn't care. She was the least of my problems since she knew how to take a hint and this boy didn't.

"Don't worry, I told her I had dibbs," he said with a smile as if I should be pleased that he called my time as his.

I continued to ignore him as I stood in the middle of my room unsure of what I should I do. Under normal circumstances, I would just drop the towel and get dressed, but this was different. There was a boy in my room, a boy who refused to shut his mouth.

_Pull yourself together._

This wasn't new. I had been naked in front of a boy before as my thoughts drifted back to the sandy haired boy with bright blue eyes that had stolen my heart while we were both locked up in the youth psych ward. I could still remember how his hands shook and how pink his lips were as he promised me forever. Forever was not that long since he chose to end his life in order to stop the voices that haunted him.

_What does it matter?_

That was question of the hour as I realized that no matter how much I resisted him, the boy was not budging. He was here and according to his weak threats, he was there to stay. My only choice was to kill him with boredom. It worked with the little old woman who wanted me to look at the love letters left by some boy who had broken her heart, so I was fairly confident that it would work with him as well.

With a deep breath and quick prayer, I dropped my towel to stand there naked before him. I listened to the quick intake of air that he didn't need as he stared at me.

_Let him stare._

My skin burned red with embarrassment as I felt his eyes wandering over my curves while I sought out a clean pair of panties followed by a t-shirt and boxers to sleep in. I slowly got dressed, enjoying the silence that my nakedness has bought me.

His silence continued long after I was dressed and had slipped under the covers to sleep. I was wearing the grin of victory when I heard his sigh of what I thought was defeat, but I was wrong. Instead of leaving me like I had hoped, he only moved so that he was sitting in the chair next to my bed. I watched as his knee bounced nervously while I feigned reading the book that I had bought on my trip back to Iowa.

"You know, bird girl," he half whispered, but I refused to look up to acknowledge him. There was a roughness to his tone that hinted at something more. The edge that seemed to vibrate off of him caused my stomach to twist with a sense of expectation, but even that was laughable since there was nothing predictable about this boy.

"That was just hellaciously dirty," he commented with a low laugh, causing the heat from a blush to burn over my chest as it creeped slowly up my neck to swallow me whole.

"Not that I minded," he snickered as I kept my eyes trained to the words on the page before me.

"I love a girl who is confident with their body since there is nothing sexier than that," he mused out loud as if he were speaking to himself while I trained my eyes on the blur of words before me.

"But if you think that flashing me a nice set of tits is going to get me to leave then you have forgotten that I am guy. I may be a dead guy, but I am still a guy, and giving me a peep show of your tits along with your wicked bod will only encourage me to stay instead of scaring me off."

His words rang with laughter as I tried to school my features to keep the scowl from slipping through my expressionless exterior.

"Not that I'm telling you not to flash me since that was awesome," he snickered softly as I reached for the light to shut it off since feigning sleep would be easier in the dark.

"What's a matter, bird girl?" he teased as I listened to him move closer to me. His footsteps were soft and close by as I felt him hovering over me before sitting down on the mattress beside me.

"Cat got your tongue?"

"You're not going to win," he assured me while calling me out on the game I was determined to play with the boy. I rolled over on my side away from him, but instead of being insulted, he just took the extra room on my bed to sprawl out beside me like the asshole he clearly was.

"I am the king of this game. Twenty-nine years of being ignored has honed my skills to a near ninja like ability, sweetheart," he teased softly as his words trailed off to soft silence.

The boy remained silent for a long soul searching moment. The darkness seeped between us as I struggled to maintain some space between us, but it was pointless. He was everywhere and didn't care that he was crowding me.

The darkness lulled me into a soft half-awake state as I listened to rhythmic, all be it unnecessary, breathing of the boy tucked into my side. It was soothing and sweet as I felt myself slipping into a deeper sleep. I was right there on the brink of a dream and consciousness when I heard him.

"Talking away. I don't know what to say," he sang slowly, softly almost impossible to hear, yet the melody was there.

"I'll say it anyway. Today is not my day to find you," he sang slowly, yet there was a momentum in his voice as he grew louder.

"Shying away. I'll be coming for your love, ok," he finished in a low rasp that was louder before taking a deep breath as I closed my eyes, knowing what was going to happen next just based on my dad's love of the band A-Ha.

"Take on me!" he bellowed loud and off key as I tried to ignore him.

"Take me on!" he continued on as I felt my nerves slowly stretched to the point of no return as his loud off key voice bounced off the walls around us.

"I'll be gone," he built up the tension as well the volume to end on the loud out of tune caterwauling.

"In a day or two!" he half sang and yelled as I covered my ears, breaking slightly over his horrendous singing.

"Shut the fuck up!" I yelled into the silence of the room before remembering that my father would wonder who the hell I was talking to in the emptiness of my bedroom.

"Have you had enough or should I finish the song?" he asked me with a teasing grin in his voice that did nothing for my temper.

"You should really finish since I love Norwegian rock bands, and A Ha is fucking awesome. Maybe after that you could sing a rocking rendition of Josie Cotton's Johnny Are You Queer," I grumbled mockingly as I rolled over to face the boy who was talking up all the space in my small bed.

"You know them?" he asked me with a hint of surprise in his voice as he tried to hide his grin from me but failed miserably as we lay there nose to nose.

"Of course, I do. My dad loves the oldies station. He plays that crap all the time," I replied and then watched him roll his eyes while mumbling something about real music before allowing a comfortable silence to fall between us.

"I need your help, bird girl," he confessed slowly, like it pained him to admit as we lay there, more comfortable than I should have been around this strange spirit.

"I can't help you," I assured him as he rolled his eyes in response.

"Of course you can," he shot back as shook my head no.

"No, I can't. I don't do that anymore. I'm done," I stated firmly as he smiled at me in a know-it-all manner that made me stutter.

"I'm retired."

"Retire? You can't retire-you're like what? Sixteen?' he asked as I bit back a grumbled growl over his observation of what my age was.

"I'm seventeen and yes, I can retire," I shot back, earning a laugh as he shook his head at me like I was the funniest thing he had encountered since falling into the spirit world.

"Listen, I understand…" he began slowly with a wide smile that I had no doubt he had used on girls during his time on earth, but I wasn't one of those girls. I was a woman with a plan. I had no time for boys, let alone a ghost boy with a pretty smile.

"You understand nothing," I shot back, wiping the smile off his face with my cutting tone before watching a hurt look settle over his pale features. It instantly made me feel like shit even though I had done nothing wrong, except stick to my guns as far as what my plans were.

"I don't even know your name," I offered up lamely as I looked at the boy who stared at me as if I had killed his one dream. It was horrible, and I was never one that was good with guilt.

"That's easily remedied," he chuckled happily as a smile creeped across his handsome face. It was clear from the damn grin he was sporting that he thought he had won the war between us instead of just the battle.

"I'm Edward Cullen," he stated while offering me a steady hand in welcoming that matched his warm smile. It was a surprise move, but I was learning to expect the unexpected with this boy.

"Bella Swan," I replied without thinking as to what I should do to discourage the boy who was determined to win my attention.

**AN:**

**Ok…. I lied. I updated again this weekend. I hope you don't mind. **

**Thanks to Tracy, Andi, Sarah, & Lou for their opinion as well as their corrections. Love ya ladies : )**

**As always the teaser for Ch 10 will be sent out in review replies, on Face Book as well as Fic Teaser Tuesday.**

**One last thing… Thank from the bottom of my little heart for all the love this story has been receiving. I appreciate each recommendation that you pass along for this fic as well as the time you take to read as well as review.**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

** Wednesdays seem to be a better day to update for me than Saturdays. Hope you don't mind**

_**EPOV**_

_ I listened to the girl breathe. It was soft and deep, suggesting that she was dreaming of happy times that I knew nothing about. Dreams had been lost to me for years now. I could kind of remember the peace of sleep, but that was as close as I got to that serenity._

_ In._

_ Out._

_ In._

_ Out._

_ "You have no idea how lucky you are, Bird girl," I sighed as I stared off into the darkness that surrounded us as I stretched out on the small bed next to her._

_ "Luck is a very subjective thing, Edward. I would think that you would have learned that by now." I heard the soft drawl of the angel who haunted my every move. His words were taunting and laced with laughter directed at me. _

_ "I should have known…" I muttered in irritation over his sudden appearance, but I couldn't even begin to decipher whether my anger was directed at the fact that he was here or that I had somehow missed the cues that hinted at his arrival. _

_ "Yes. Yes, you should have," he chuckled as I listened to his wings softly scraped against polished wooden floor of the girl's. I didn't bother to look at him. I wasn't interested in what he had to say even though he was my lifeline to what I was supposed to be doing since I was still lost over what exactly it was that I supposed to accomplish._

_ Jasper let the silence settle between us as the girl grumbled in her sleep, suggesting that our private conversation was privy to her ears as well. _

_ "I think she can hear you," I whispered over her sleeping form as I watched Jasper smile in response. It was a wicked looking smile followed by an exaggerated eye roll._

_ "There is no way…" he began in a loud voice that matched his over the top appearance as one of Father's warriors, but that didn't mean he was smart. All it meant was that he thought he knew it all._

"_Would you shut up?" I growled at him low and steady as I sat up, trying not to move the bed since I knew the girl was ultra sensitive. She could feel the movements I made, so I had no doubt that she would be able to hear him. It only made sense. I twisted away from her so that I might immediately face the imposing angel that I had tried to avoid in order to silence him just as Bird girl turned over abruptly with a choppy sleeping motion._

"_I swear to god you never shut up" she grumbled loudly before flopping back over to her side with an angry grunt that was far from the cool reserve that I had seen her operate within._

_I stood up and motioned for the angel to follow me with a frantic wave of my hand as I breezed past the old woman who had stood guard over the girl and me before the asshole arrived._

"_Let me know if she wakes up," I whispered to the woman who was too lost in her memories of a life lived to really pay attention to my simple instructions. I knew she wouldn't, but I still asked all the same._

"_You know," Jasper began slowly as if he was the bearer of bad news, but cut him off with a harsh look. I knew the woman was useless so there was no need for him to tell me. She was lost to the present, stuck in a past that had trapped her inside. It was an ugly fate that happened to those of us who were left behind by the light. It was the same fate that I was courting the longer I remained here amongst the living. I knew this. I had witnessed it more than once in the twenty-nine years that I had been left alone to wander unobserved by all, and it was tragic to watch these souls slowly lose their minds as well as what humanity they had to the darkness of life without light._

"_Just so you know," he murmured discretely as we walked down the dark hallway that was lined with pictures that I ignored. I didn't need to see what had happened in this girl's life or even Charlie's. It didn't matter because all that did matter was that I had found my way out of the dark. _

_I listened to the angel's heavy sigh. It was thick with irritation that could not hide the concern that haunted him. I braced myself for I knew what he was about to say, and I didn't give a fuck. I knew what my fate was if this so called mission of mine failed, so he didn't need to remind me._

"_Listen, I don't need the reminder," I groused as I walked down the steps while trying not to gag over the sickeningly sweet scent that filled the air every time Jasper was near. I didn't bother to look at the immortal until we were in the middle of the sparsely decorated living room below the girl's bedroom. It was about as far away as I wanted to get from her until I figured out what I needed her to do._

_ "Seems like you found yourself a seer," he mused softly with a pleased look on his face as he looked around him, taking in the emptiness that was Bella's home._

_ "What do you mean?" I demanded from him as I watched him walk closer to the wall to peer at the pictures that graced it._

_ "I mean, you found a seer," he commented slowly, enunciating each syllable like I was hard of hearing._

_ "I have no idea what that means," I bitched at him as I flopped down on the beat up couch that was over-used and in need of repair, much like everything else I had noticed in the house._

_ "It means you did very well," he commented as he shifted his wings in order o sit down across from me with a smirk on his face that made me nervous. I knew that look, and it never led to anything good. I listened as the sword sheath he always carried clanged against the metal of his body armor. It was a bleak reminder of the fight between good and evil that he fought consistently._

_ "Yeah, well, she's not interested in helping me do… whatever the fuck it is that I'm supposed to do," I sighed as I looked over towards the wall and immediately found the girl's smiling face staring back at me. It was an older picture since she looked so much younger, but it was clearly during happier times. It was sweet but left a coldness sweeping through me I could not shake._

_ "Of course, she doesn't want to," Jasper scoffed with a rich laugh that echoed off the walls around us. _

_ "Seriously? Do you have dress that way?" I asked him as I listened to him clang and bang while trying to get comfortable. My words caused him to stop and glare at me for a moment before snapping his fingers in an impatient manner. He changed before my eyes with his metal chest plate and worn red pants giving way to a gray t-shirt and worn-out looking blue jeans._

_ "Listen, Edward, no one ever wants to help," he sighed as he looked at me with a knowing look like I should have been aware of this potential problem._

_ "The chosen…" he began slowly, preparing me for some lengthy history lesson concerning the world that I now lived within, but it was too late. I was already on my tangent concerning what he was suggesting with Bird girl._

_ "What do you mean chosen?" I questioned with a loud voice that made him shake his head at me in disdain._

_ "I mean, those chosen by God often are the most reluctant to serve," he sighed in an impatient manner like I had somehow failed him by not knowing those ancient stories._

_ "What does that mean?" I asked as a shiver of panic settled over me as I saw my escape from days and nights of nothingness disappearing before my eyes. The bright light I had once avoided disappeared into darkness while I stood by, powerless to stop it._

_ "It means that you have to try to harder," he stated in a firm tone before pulling out an old looking leather journal that had seen better days._

_ "What to do you know about this girl?" he demanded from me as I sat there, staring at him more dumbfounded than the night he had found me huddled over my dead body, struggling to return to a life that had ended too soon._

_ "I don't know… I mean, she can see me. What more is there to know?" I asked as I watched him shake his head at me in what was clearly disappointment._

_ "You have to know this girl better than you know yourself," he sighed as he stood up, stretching his wings as if sitting like a human somehow was uncomfortable._

_ "What does she most desire?" he asked me abruptly as I stared at him slack-jaw in response. I had no idea what the girl wanted outside of being left alone and that was not about to happen. I didn't care. I just wanted out, and she was my chance._

_ "How the fuck would I know?" I shot back at him in a growl that made him grin._

_ "Listen, you told me to find someone, someone who could help me, and I did. Now, you tell me what the hell I am supposed to do now?" I demanded as he smiled and shook his head._

_ "For starters, watch your mouth around me," he reminded me in a cruel tone that caused me to roll my eyes. Jasper was always trying to intimidate, but he didn't understand he didn't frighten me. There was nothing he could do to me that hadn't already been done. _

_ I was alone._

_ I was lost._

_ I was on the verge of nothingness, so his threats were laughable to me._

_ "What does this girl fear?" he asked me as I stared at him in disbelief._

_ "If you know her fears, you can control her future," he schemed with a grin that was as evil as what he was suggesting._

_ "I don't want to control her future," I replied sighed as I listened to his dark laughter._

_ "Oh, Edward, Edward, Edward," he laughed as I watched him stand there with a sinister grin on his face, that for the first time ever, left me with an uneasy feeling in my chest. It was the same sick feeling that had swallowed me whole the night that I died. _

_ "Do you want out or don't you?" he asked me softly, almost sweetly, but I could hear the darkness in his tone._

_ "Yes, but…" I began slowly, only to have him shush me with a wave of his hand. It was as ghostly white as his wings were but not nearly as perfect since his skin was marred with scars from battles won and lost._

_ "You have to make decision, Edward," he stated as he looked at me with his black eyes that reminded me that this man had never been human. _

_ "What is it that you want?" he asked while not allowing me to answer his question._

_ "And what are you willing to do to get it?"_

_ "I won't hurt her if that's what you're implying." I scoffed as I felt a desperate chill wash over my soul. I couldn't do it. It wasn't me at all._

_ "Not hurt the girl," he sighed in an exasperated manner that suggested I was missing the point. "What I mean is you need to remind her of what is important. Who she is serving and more importantly, who's the boss here."_

_ Jasper's words that dripped with condescension as he eyed me with a scowl that I knew had everything to do with my alleged lack of leadership. He didn't know this girl, but I had no doubt that she would not be easily lead or intimidated._

_ "Yeah, I don't think that's going to work," I found myself chuckling as I thought about the look of defiance in her whiskey colored eyes as she stood before me naked and proud. _

_ "You need to find something that will work." He grunted as he turned away from me with a frown while pulling me out the daydream of the girl's creamy skin. "Time is ticking, don't forget that."_

_ His words were dark and ominous, leaving me speechless as he stood up to leave._

_ "What does that mean?" I called after him as I watched him open the front door to leave like any other mortal would. Jasper stopped before turning to look at me. He wore a casual grin as if we were discussing something as mundane as the weather or his morning plans, not my future existence._

_ "It means time is ticking, Edward. Don't let this opportunity slip by you. Here in our world, second chances are quiet rare. Please be mindful of that."_

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Thanks to Tracy, Andi, Sarah, Terry, & Lou for helping me fix this hot mess up. I have to confess that I added about 400 words after their corrections so any lingering mistakes are all mine.**

**As always teaser for Ch 11 will be posted on FB, my FB page & in review replies. For the three review replies I missed for ch 10 I apologize.**

**xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I opened my eyes slowly, unsure what would greet me with the light of day after the evening I had spent with ghost bed in my bed. His soft singing of eighties' power ballads lulling me into sleep instead of driving me mad like he had hoped.

_Edward Cullen._

He had whispered his name to me like it was a secret and around here it was since I had never heard of him. He may have been a live once upon a time, but now he was just a part of the folklore of this small town. A reminder of what can happen when things go wrong like they often do. It was tragic and so was he. I knew this, but every young death, senseless or not, was horrifying since it was a loss of hope.

I tried to clear my mind of what had happened so that I could refocus on where I needed to be. I had one hundred and seventy two days left of the school year, and I could not afford to miss one more with all of this ghost nonsense. I had lost too much of my so-called youth chasing ghost stories, only to be locked up in the land of the living because I wasn't like the others.

I slowly stretched, feeling the ache in my muscles that only a heavy sleep could bring before resolving to be better once more. My eyes drifted towards the closet where the woman remained chanting inside.

"He'll be back. He promised he'll be back," I could hear her soft whisper that made no more sense than some of her other cries for some lost love that left her behind to fight a war.

I moved around her, ignoring her chanting, as I dressed for the day before slipping silently out of my room to make my way down the stairs to where my dad would be waiting.

"I told you Renee, she seems ok." Dad words rang out in a gruff manner that sounded like spite, fired with anger.

The mentioning of my mother's name had me frozen in terror. I had no idea what she would tell him or what he would believe. She lived to be the martyr in our relationship, holding me up as the shining example of children who needed psychiatric help.

"I don't know. I just heard a boy in her room last night, so that's why I called." I heard him sigh as I nearly tripped over my own feet.

A boy?

There was no boy in my room last night, no living boy that is. The room swayed before me while I struggled to breathe as I listened to my father grumble on.

"I don't know why in the hell I even bothered to call you," I could hear him bitch at her as I held tight to the railing, as I teetered at the top of the stairs, unsure if I should go down to face him or not.

He had heard Edward.

"I'm sorry I called you." I could hear him state in a cold tone before the harsh slamming of the phone back down on its receiver. It was comforting and horrorifying all at once.

_Run._

My mind was screaming at me to run, to leave and never come back since there was no way to explain to him what he had heard. No matter what lie I could smile through or what story would sound the best, I couldn't erase the fact that he had heard Edward.

_One more time and I'll lock you up for good._

My mother's warning rang loud in my ears as my heart pounded within my chest as I struggled to find my escape. I was not going back to hospitals and pills that made it so I could not think straight. I was done, and more than that, I had been promised that it would never happen again, but as I had learned countless times from mom, promises were made to be broken.

I turned abruptly to run anywhere but where I had been standing, only to bounce off the banister that I had been leaning on for support. The solid oak post sent my flying backwards into the wall with a loud crash as I landed hard upon the wooden floor.

"Bells?" I could hear dad call out from the bottom of the steps. Yesterday, he had been so happy, so hopeful for a good day, but today I could just hear the trepidation in his voice.

He knew.

She had told him what a freak I was and now there was no escape.

"Are you ok, kid?" he called up to me with a nervous laugh that made my stomach so hard I had to swallow back a round of dry heaves as I sat there.

"Yeah," I lied as I sat there, uncertain as what else to say. I was done and he had to know it as well.

"Why don't you come on down since I need to talk to you real quick," he called out to me in a tone that sounded strained for all its fake happiness. I had heard syrupy sweet happiness in his voice before. It was what had greeted me at the hospital when Dad came for me after mom said that's where she was leaving me for good.

I stood up slowly, feeling the ache of the crashing fall in my bones as I struggled to find the center of my gravity once more.

_Be normal._

This would be key if I was going to pull this off. I casually made my way down the worn out stairs as if I hadn't care in the world when all I could think about was the pale pink walls that had surrounded me in the last pysch ward I had been forced to stay at.

At the bottom of the stairs dad waited with a plastic grin on his face. It was alarming in more ways than one as he motioned me towards the front room as if a firing squad was waiting for my arrival.

"Listen, Bella," dad began with a tired sigh causing me to flinch in response.

"I am so sorry," I whispered to him as I felt the sting of tears in my eyes as I tried to hold eye contact with the man who held my future in his hands.

"I never… I mean, I promised you that I was fine and I am, dad. I really am," I assured him in a rush of words that scrambled closer to him, practically knocking him down in my need for him to see that how repentant I was the sins I had committed.

"Easy," he shushed me as tried to comfort me while I struggled to keep it together even though I was failing miserably.

"Listen, I remember what it was it like to be seventeen," he began slowly as I watched his face flush a bright red while I sputtered like a fish out of water.

"Hormones are a hell of a thing," he mumbled nervously as I stared at him in wide eyed shock. "And that Newton kid is…ok, I guess."

"But, Bella I can't have you letting boys in your room at night," he stated in a firm tone while trying to maintain eye contact with me. It was clearly a struggle for him even though I was the one who was willing myself to die on the spot.

"Boys in my room," I repeated back slowly, letting what he was accusing me of settle over me as I met his embarrassed gaze with a confused one of my own.

"I don't know what your mother let you get away with," he spat out like the word mother was bitter on his tongue while mentioning the woman before continuing on. "But here in my house no boys... like ever."

"No boys," I agreed softly while trying to appear somewhat normal even though there was nothing normal about this conversation. I needed to know what he had heard and especially how he had heard it since mom never once heard a spirit talk.

"Ok," he stated with a firm nod of his head indicating that our conversation was over before turning back towards the door to leave for the day. I watched him fumble in a nervous manner with his holster before turning towards the front door while the awkwardness still hung heavy in the air between us.

"Just so you know, I called your mother," he revealed softly, almost reluctantly and with good reason. He knew how things were left between she and I. There was nothing but bitter words and cruel comments still lingering between her and me, no matter how badly he wanted to believe differently.

"You should call her."

It would be a cold day in hell before I ever called that woman again.

"Yeah," I mumbled as I looked away from him toward the kitchen only to find Edward leaning upon the doorway, watching us with a bored look on his face.

"Mommy issues?" Edward questioned with a smart-assed looking quirked eyebrow that did nothing for my temperament. I watched the boy run a hand through his hair causing it to stand on end in a wild manner that seemed to suit him better than the gelled dated mess that he normally wore.

"I guess that makes sense," he mumbled with a soft laugh as I tried to focus on my father instead of the boy who lounged in the doorway across from me.

"Jasper said…" he began with a know-it-all grin as he took a step closer to me. I watched him as he moved with a grace that the living seemed to lack, but it wasn't that that caught my attention as much as what it was the mentioning of another.

"I'll be a little late tonight," dad called out as he opened the door to leave.

"He said you'd be reluctant, but eventually I'd wear you down," Edward continued on as I tried to focus on my dad.

"There is dinner in the freezer if you want to put it in the oven for me."

"He said that all of God's chosen go through this, but you know what's right so…" Edward trailed off just as my dad walked out of the house with a simple have a good day. I waited, letting Edward ramble on, as I watched my dad get in his cop car and pull out the drive. It wasn't until I was sure he was gone that I turned towards the boy.

"Listen, like I told you last night," I began with an angry growl that made the boy laugh, filling the room with the brightness of its sound. "I can't do this. Not now, not ever."

My declaration did nothing to dampen his mood as he shook his head at me in disbelief.

"Jasper said…"

"I don't know who this Jasper is, and I don't give a fuck either," I shot back, feeling the tight bubble of uncomfortable pleasure ring through me as his smile faltered just a little. "I can't help you, so whatever your message is to your parent about being at peace or telling your girlfriend to love again, you are on your own."

I watched as my words made their mark on him as his smile faded as his face contorted in what could only be fury.

"You think I want to tell my parents I'm at peace?" he questioned me in a low, dangerous whisper that caused prickling of goose bumps to break out across my skin with its intensity.

"Does it look like I am at peace to you?" he demanded from me as I stood there, refusing to back down from him as he raged on. He stepped closer to me, crossing the space that separated us. His silver eyes flamed bright and wild as he looked down at me from his height while I watched him. There was a nervous energy that seemed to vibrate off of him causing me to tremor in response.

"Are you really that naïve to think that even if I was it would change anything? They would still hurt. My father would still be gone. My mother would still be broken. My brother would still be lost, and I would still be dead."

His words were cruel and cold, but more than that they were honest. Nothing changed the past, and I knew this.

"And my _girlfriend_," he breathed out with a dark, mocking chuckle that burned my ears as he looked at me with fire in eyes that hurt to witness. "Why should she love again when I wasn't allowed to?"

His questions mixed with the ugly truth that surrounded them hung heavy in the air between us as he vanished before my eyes.

**AN:**

**Happy Wednesday!**

**Thanks for reading!**

**As always, thank you to Lou, Sarah, Andi and Tracy for their help : )**

**Teaser for ch 12 will be posted on Facebook & review replies**

**Xoxo**

**Mamasutra**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Days passed, one into another, and Edward still remained gone. There was a sense of relief knowing that he wasn't there to cause steer me off course, yet as days turned into night and I was alone, I found myself wondering about him.

Where was he?

More importantly, why did I care?

There was no reason for it. I had encountered numerous spirits that had come and gone without a second thought. He should be no different, yet he was, and I knew why. It was simple even though I tried to deny it.

I had never had a spirit respond to me like that, let alone with such anger that it burned the air between us with its power. It was terrifying with its strength and exhilarating with the zip of power that came with it all at once. There was also the not so small fact that I could feel him. That ability to touch a spirit had never happened before.

He was different.

He was to blame for this longing for a ghost that I had sworn off. It was the stupid songs he sang and the jokes he told. It was how he laughed every bit as loud as what he raged. It was how he so clearly saw the good in the world that had passed him by. It was astounding to me, but more than that, it was refreshing to find someone who was so alive for being dead. There was vibrancy about him that the living lacked, and without him there, I found myself missing him. It was ridiculous of course; after all, how could I miss a boy I barely knew? The same boy I had to get rid of if I was going to meet my goal of the pretense of normalcy. I just wasn't expecting to be so successful at it.

"You ok, Bells?" dad would ask me at night as I stared out into the darkness of the hallway, half expecting to find Edward watching me with that lame ass grin and off-key crooning only to be disappointed by his absence.

"Yeah, I'm good," I replied as I would try to focus on whatever TV show he had placed on in effort to please me.

School was no better.

The days were torturously slow and now, thanks to my freak out in class on the first day, I could finally add uncomfortable to my list of adjectives that described my time at West High. People knew me even though I lurked in the shadows of the hallway, half-looking for Edward while trying to avoid him at the same time. I could hear the other students whispering about me in low voices that were rushed as if what they had to say was gossip worthy, but for the first time ever in my academic career, the words spoken about me included _badass, _not _freak._

It was with those whispers that I walked the hallways, looking straight ahead, not making eye-contact so as to avoid engaging with the other kids that found me to be suddenly worth talking to. They had no idea I had nothing to share that would add value to their life. Nothing that they would believe anyway.

It was my wandering that often brought me face to face with Mike. He was a nice boy, and maybe if things were different, if I were different, he would be a possibility, yet I wasn't and neither was he.

There was something about him that I couldn't explain. He would appear out of thin air as if he knew where I would be. It was unsettling, yet I quickly dismissed my unease since how could he not find me with everyone whispering about my every movement.

"Hey Bella," he greeted me with the bright smile of confidence that always left me speechless. How could he be so confident about everything when I wasn't? Maybe there was something missing in my make up like my mother had suggested countless times that left me in a constant state of doubt. I wasn't sure, and as much as I tried not to dwell on it, I could not ignore it as I stood before this boy while our classmates rushed by to make it to class on time.

"I'll pick you up at six."

Some how the maybe we can go out that I offered to him in order to avoid an awkward scene turned into him making plans. There was no question in his tone. It was as if my going out with him was no longer optional, but a fact. Too bad it was a fact that I hadn't agreed to.

"Mike, I don't know… I mean, I don't like leaving my dad alone," I lied softly as I gave him the best worried look that I had mastered during one of my hospital stays. Mom had always liked it best when she thought I worried about her. It was skill that had come to serve me well during my time with her.

"Your dad was alone before you came here," he stated softly with a grin that looked forced, clearly not buying into my excuse as to why I wanted to stay home. He knew I was lying and normally I would not care about that, but the hope flickering in his eyes was killing me. It was so odd for me to see him practically pleading for a night out with a girl who wasn't interested in him. I wasn't the girl that boys fell all over. I was the girl that they ignored and would whisper about to their friends over how fucking weird they thought I was. I was fine with that role, so this overly eager look on his face was tearing at my conscience while making me feel even guiltier than what I already was came to Mike.

"It's just dinner and movie," he soothed as if what he was suggesting was nothing, but I knew better. Dinner and a movie was a date. There was nothing casual about that.

"I'm not ready to date," I blurted out as my excuse to let him down easy came to mind with a flash of a boy's face that had been even if it was only for a few nights. "I… I had a boyfriend, and he died."

It wasn't a complete lie.

I did have a boy who had been a friend in all ways possible. Riley had my first and only. He would have been perfect if only I could have convinced him that life was worth living, even if that living meant tolerating the voices in his head.

"Oh wow," Mike muttered as I watched him bring a trembling hand up to rake through his blonde hair with ease. It was enough of distraction to put some between us as I turned to leave him, but he stopped me in time.

"I am so sorry." I listened to his remorseful murmur before launching back into how he wasn't interested in dating either followed by some story of girl who stole his heart only to move away.

"I'll pick you up at six," he insisted as I continued to shake my head no at him even though it didn't matter.

"My treat and no date," he assured me with a sad smile as he held my gaze with a confident one of his one. "Just two friends getting together to commiserate," he assured me with a nod of his head as he left me standing there with no escape from the night out he had planned.

The rest of the day passed with boredom until I was standing in the foyer by the office waiting for my dad to pick me up once more. He refused to let me walk in the rain that was coming down in heavy sheets, and while I argued that I would be no worse for the wear by walking, I was secretly happy that he insisted on taking care of me. It wasn't something I was used to after living with mom. She wasn't thoughtful like that unless it benefited her somehow, so I was oddly surprised to receive such care from a man I had barely spent any time with growing up.

The hallway cleared out after the last bell leaving me waiting in the uncomfortable silence that came with the emptiness around me. I busied myself by reading old trophies and plaques of previous state champions, but try as I might, I could not stop my eyes from drifting to the picture of Edward. It was like a beacon, screaming at me for attention.

With no one watching I could look at the picture without the fear of questions that I could not answer as to why I was so interested in the plaque for the dead boy. It made it easy for me, and easy was never good thing since it always led to trouble. It was the easy decision to help some lost soul that had landed me in the psych ward. It was the simple acknowledgment of a spirit that had me medicated out of mind and locked away as if I were a danger to myself and others which was where Dad had found me. It was that effortless need to do the right thing for someone who couldn't that had lead me back to this quiet town in Iowa with a father that I didn't even know. It was also that complicated necessity to make things right that had me reeling with guilt for chasing away Edward even though it was what was best for me.

I swallowed back the bitterness that came every time I thought about him now as I studied his picture. His smile was too bright and full of life, so much so that I could not imagine this boy dying by his own hand. I couldn't see it, and I had seen death written on someone's face before. The more I looked at him, the more I wondered what his story had been, but speculating would get me nowhere and we all knew it was curiosity that killed the cat.

"Bella?" I heard dad call out to me, breaking the spell that Edward Cullen's picture held over me as I stood before it, openly transfixed by the boy.

"Did you know him?' I asked in a soft whisper as if I was suddenly worried that Edward would know I was asking about him. It didn't matter since I was certain that I was done when it came to ghosts, and it was clear that this boy was done with me.

Dad didn't need for me to tell him who I was speaking of since it was clear what picture I was focusing on.

"Uh, yeah," he confessed slowly as if he wasn't sure what to say, and in all reality, I had no idea why I was even asking about the boy. It was me being stupid, but thankfully, he had chosen to ignore me.

"Edward was a few years older than me. He was a senior when I was sophomore," he confessed painfully slow as if it hurt for him to admit this little piece of history to me.

"He hated your mother," he chuckled darkly as I found myself smirking along with whatever inside joke he was laughing over. "We, uh…We were on the wrestling team together and his brother was my best friend."

"He was good," Dad confessed with a nostalgic grin as he shifted before me so that his hands were resting on his holster in a relaxed manner. "Those trophies over there are all his," he continued on as he motioned towards another cabinet filled with West High's glory days as he regaled on about weight classes and state championships that were meaningless to me.

"How'd he die?" I asked impatiently, letting the words escape my lips before I could even stop them from slipping out. It was the million dollar question that had haunted me more than the boy once had, not that it mattered as I liked to remind myself. Once you were dead, it didn't matter how you got there, but what you going to do once you arrived.

"They say it was suicide. That he jumped," dad stated harshly like he didn't even believe his own excuse he was offering me.

"But you don't believe that?" I questioned as I watched him shake his head no, even though his words didn't match what he was implying.

"It doesn't matter what I believe," he whispered in a tight voice of discomfort

before urging me to follow him out of the still of the school and into the downpour of rain.

**AN:**

**SURPRISE!**

**One more update today! It's my birthday so why not, right?**

**Thanks to Tracy, Sarah, Andi & Lou for all their hard work.**

**Thanks to the readers for giving this story a chance.**

**Teaser for ch 13 will be posted on Facebook as well as in review replies…**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Mike was right on time with a wide smile for me and a hand shake for my dad, not that dad seemed to buy the bullshit he was peddling.

"I'll have her home by midnight," Mike called out to him with an easy laugh that only seemed to make Dad fume as he watched me dodge the rain drops to enter the boy's beat up black Camry that had clearly seen better days.

"Eleven-thirty, Newton," Dad barked back at the boy as I nodded my head in agreement to the time change just as Mike opened the car door for me like the gentleman I knew he would be while agreeing with my father.

We drove in uncomfortable silence until he finally parked in front of the coffee shop that I had spent a lot of time at since moving back to this town. It was an odd choice for dinner, but I didn't mind since I loved its coziness and the coffee scent that lingered on my skin whenever I visited it.

"You don't mind, right?" he asked me with a smile that told me that he knew I wouldn't.

"No, not at all," I practically gasped with a slight laugh as I felt a rush of relief was over me as some of fear about this so called get together washed away with the familiarity that I had longed for.

"Good," he beamed bright with a smile before motioning for me to wait as he got out of the car with an umbrella in hand only open it before opening my car door in effort to shield me from the rain that was falling in torrents.

We walked, practically arm in arm, into the small shop. The rich scent of coffee hit me as we stepped in the doorway, welcoming me back to what had become a safe haven for me. The place was bustling with life, and I could not hide the smile on my face as I realized that it was open mic night at the shop.

Mike was a perfect gentleman, ordering coffee and refusing to allow me to pay my share.

"What would you like for dinner?" he asked me with a half-hidden smile that made him seem endearing in a way that I had not realized as he motioned towards the dessert case. It was large with clear glass and filled with beautiful pastries and decadent cakes. It was something dreams were made of, and I stood there with my eyes glazed over in sugar lust, trying to decide what delicious creation that I would call mine.

"I know how you like to have dessert first, so I was thinking we'd have dessert for dinner," he explained in a cheeky manner as if he were proud of himself for knowing this odd tid-bit about me.

"How did you know that?" I asked him, taken back by this simple truth that he knew about me. My question only seemed to make him smile as he met my questioning gaze with a teasing one of his own.

"I watched you at lunch," he replied with a grin that set off an uneasy feeling inside of me as I stood there unsure of how to respond to such a confession.

"How?" I found myself questioning again since I could not think of lunch period that I had shared with him or had even seen him. I had chosen to spend lunch sneaking candy bars in the library instead of mingling with the other students in the lunch room, so there wasn't an easy way for him to watch me.

"I was in the library studying, and I saw you," he said with a laugh, trying to ease the discomfort that had settled in the air between us.

"Oh," I managed to say through as my throat seemed to constrict around the words as he waved the wait staff over to order and soon I was distracted by the sugary confections that all were calling my name.

It was only mere minutes before we were settled in the back of the shop with a cup of coffee and an enormous slice of death by chocolate cake while Mike had chosen a slab of apple pie. It was strangely perfect for a boy who I was certain wouldn't hold my attention at all.

The conversation was slow as we ate in silence while musicians took the stage to play their rendition of famous songs. It was soothing, or it should have been, yet I couldn't seem to relax as I felt his eyes upon me, watching me for some reaction that I wasn't sure I was giving.

"You look really pretty," Mike announced between the lulls of musicians on stage. It was a simple compliment that caught me off guard as I sat across from him, causing me to choke on the mouthful of chocolate cake that I had inhaled as he spoke to me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, looking up just in time to see to man that had approached my dad and me at the diner nights ago. I would know his faded green eyes anywhere, but more than that I would know the spirit that lingered at his side, walking next to him, talking as if the man could hear him.

"I need you to pull it together man." I heard Edward stated slowly in an encouraging manner that made my heart ache.

"You see that guy over there," Mike said in a whisper that was more like a hiss of excitement over the story he was about to share. I found myself cringing over whatever words he was ready to share as I braced myself for the impact.

"He's the local crazy guy," Mike stated with a nod of his head as if his words made it true. "Lost his mind after his brother off'ed himself," he continued on with a careless snort of what seemed to be disgust.

"My mom says it a shame since both of them had a hell of a future in front of them," Mike rambled on as I watched the man pay for his cup of coffee as Edward hovered near him. His gray eyes never leaving his brother as he continued his unheard pep talk.

I ignored Mike and his ramblings, instead focusing on the boy and his brother as they made their way out of the shop. It had been days since I had seen Edward, and my heart felt it with the swift pang of guilt that washed over me. I knew he would not change since the dead never did, I could not stop myself from going over his features, his wide eyes, his crooked nose and his full bottom lip as he stood, oblivious to my staring.

Without a real thought as to what I was doing, I found myself chasing after him. I dodged the waitresses and other patrons until I was out on the rain-soaked side walk. The man walked with his eyes firmly on the pavement below him, letting the rain beat at him while protecting his newly purchased cup of coffee as Edward followed suit.

"Edward," I called out loud and shrill, fighting against the rain without thinking of the consequences or how ridiculous I looked calling out the name of a dead man.

I watched as the nameless man stiffened in response to me calling out, but what was more surprising was Edward he turned to face me with a tired expression.

"Bird girl, now is not the time," he yelled back in an irritated tone before murmured to the man who flinched in response to whatever Edward had whispered to him as if he had heard his brother's words of comfort.

It was the most response I had gotten from him in days, and just hearing his voice sent a jolt of happiness mixed with guilt right through me. I hated that I wanted to hear from him almost as much as I hated that he was there at all.

"When?" I yelled like an idiot, but the man and Edward had since moved on, walking further down the street away from me so that sound of the rain drowned out my question.

"Bella, what are you doing?" Mike called out to me, breaking the trance that I was in as I watched the man and Edward disappear into the rain.

"I …uh...I know him," I offered up as an explanation that was pointless in hopes of not appearing as crazy as what I knew I had to look like.

"Emmett Cullen?" Mike questioned, giving the man a name for me without even thinking.

"Yeah, he had dinner with my dad and me," I lied to him as he nodded his head as if that was a normal occurrence, and maybe it was since I had no idea what my father did before I moved back here.

Our date seemed to come to a crashing halt there as I followed him back inside feeling more self-conscious than I had since moving to this small town. Mike remained quiet for the most part as well, only making small conversation when he could not stand the silence any longer until he finally just suggested taking me home.

"Thanks Mike," I whispered as he pulled up in front of my house. It was burning bright as the noon day sun as we sat in his car along the street.

"Thanks," I mumbled as I turned to give him a smile, but instead of an answering smile or nod of acknowledgement, Mike leaned across his seat. His hand came to rest heavy upon my lap, grasping my thigh in a loose, yet intimate manner that took me by surprise. It was so unexpected that I had no time react as he leaned to press his lips against mine in a soft good night kiss.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he stated with a lazy grin as if nothing was out of the ordinary, even though everything was off, starting with his hand in lap to ending with his whisper of kiss.

"I...uh… good night," I sputtered like an idiot as I opened the door and jumped out of the car, not bothering to wait for him to let me out in my need to get away from him. I didn't bother to look back at him as I race up to the porch to get out of the rain, and it didn't matter since when I turned around again he was gone.

I waited for the space of a heartbeat, making sure that Mike was gone before grabbing the umbrella off the porch swing to head out into the rain.

"This is stupid," I whispered to myself like the crazy person I had been accused of being many times over, but it was nothing but the truth. It was an exercise in insanity to chase after a ghost when I knew I was risking every carefully constructed plan I had in place to do so, yet there was I was walking down the dark streets that lead to the high school with only an umbrella in my hand to protect me from the elements.

The three block walk up to the school was longer than usual because of the rain that pelted me with each step. I tried not to think about what I was doing and instead focused on what I could put a positive spin on. I loved a mystery, and there was no doubt that Edward Cullen had a mystery lurking around him. I told myself that just hearing him out as to what he needed help with was not a forfeit of my dreams since after all, I had the power to say no.

_This is nothing._

_ It's just pointless guilt._

_ If you tell him you're sorry, but this won't work then you can walk knowing you've done the right thing._

The school loomed dark and dangerous looking as I approached it. I had no idea if he would even be there since I had been there every day and had not felt him there at all. I had barely made it to the covered awning when from out of the darkness Edward appeared. His was drenched from the rain, yet his eyes burned bright with what appeared to be anger.

"Why don't you ever listen to me?" he demanded all of a sudden, taking me off guard with his abrupt appearance and pissy attitude.

"I told you I would come back to you. Didn't Bernice tell you? I left her explicit instructions as well as a note for you," he bitched while raking a hand through his wet hair.

"Who is Bernice?" I asked confused as t what the hell he was speaking of.

"The woman in your closet? Did you know that her fiancé left her for war and never came home?" he continued on as if we had this conversation every day, not that he had been missing for almost a week without a word or reason after his outburst.

"It's tragic, but wars fucking suck," he sighed heavily, feeling this woman's loss years after the fact. "She never moved on. She never married. She just stayed there waiting for him to return to her."

"Even now she's waiting for him. I guess it's kind of romantic in a crazy sort of way," the boy sighed like he had given the plight of the woman some serious thought while I stood before him in stunned silence over his jibberish.

"What the hell are you talking about?" I demanded from him as he watched me with those soul searching gray eyes of his. They were wide with amusement as he looked down at me from his height.

"You know, for a girl who claims to know all and see all, you are really are out of the loop," he teased me like we were old friends. It was comfortable and disconcerting all at once.

"Your eyes used to be green," I commented without thinking, causing a sharp intake of useless air from the boy before me.

"Yeah," he mumbled softly before taking hold of my arm. His grasp was firm and slightly cold as he pulled me closer to the shadows where he was hovering. "You need to go home. The security guy is making his rounds and is on the other side of the building."

"But I wanted to…" I began as I felt him pushing me out into the rain while holding my umbrella to protect me from the elements as it lashed out against us.

"And we will," he assured me, finishing my sentence without pausing as he pushed me on down the street with his hand firmly in my back.

"You know, if someone looked out the window and saw us like this people would talk," I bitched, earning myself a laugh from him as he continued to direct me with a ghostly hand placed firm in the small of my back.

"I think the least of your worries is someone seeing that your umbrella is standing up without hands since all people you are worried about seeing this would be more concerned as to why you were walking in the rain after dark," he shot back with a laugh while I continued in his break-neck speed to get me back home.

"We could have stayed at the school," I groused as I dodged another puddle of water as we turned down my street.

"You're right. We could have, but I can't keep you safe there," Edward commented as he continued to walk while looking around into the dark that surrounded us. It was a ridiculous statement by an overzealous spirit, causing me laugh out loud since everyone knew nothing ever happened in this town.

"Laugh all you want, but you know you're being followed, right?"He asked, resulting in me tripping over my own feet as I peered into the darkness around me. I couldn't see anyone, but that didn't mean he was wrong.

"I can't see anyone," I replied as I looked over my shoulder just in time to see a black car turn on the cross street away from us.

"Fine. I'm wrong. What the hell would I know," he deadpanned quietly just as he pushed me towards the bright beacon that was my home. "I'll be up in your room when you're ready to discuss our situation," he finished up before disappearing into the cool night air around me.

"What situation? We have no situation. Do you hear me?" I hissed into the empty space where he had been standing, not that it mattered since he was already gone.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading!**

**Thanks to Sarah, Andi, Lou & Tracy for their sharing this adventure : )**

**I will be posting the teaser for ch 14 on my facebook page as well in review replies & on the Tuesday Fic Teasers.**

**Until next Wednesday!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

I opened the door and expected to find my father hovering, but instead I was greeted bright lights and silence. It was odd, but so was Charlie Swan. I had barely made it past the table in the hall when I found a note taped to the mirror. Its bright blue paper caught my eye while causing a gurgle of dread inside of me.

"Looks like the coast is clear," Edward announced as he appeared at my side with a whisper of wind.

"Shut up," I managed to mumble as I peel the tape off the note to read it.

_Bella,_

_I'm over at Billy's. I'll be home early so no funny business. _

_ Dad_

"Wow, he really trusts you," Edward deadpanned before breaking out in laughter as he read the note over my shoulder.

"You shut up," I grumbled as I tossed the note down on the table before turning to face him with an angry glare.

"This is all your fault," I accused, earning myself a stunned yelp of surprise from the boy who thought he knew it all.

"Mine?" he screeched in disbelief while I nodded my head vigorous in agreement.

"Yes, yours." I shot back with a scowl as he stood before me, blocking the way with his full form. That was one of the things that was so different about Edward. He was solid, firm and so much alive for a boy who had been dead for years before I was born. "You are wrecking everything and you just don't give a fuck, do you?"

"I didn't…" he began, but I stopped him. I didn't want to hear his feeble excuses. I didn't need to know what his plans or what or the hell he was called to do. What I wanted was for him to realize what it was costing me. It was selfish, yet just once I wanted a spirit to see what it cost me to help them. I just wanted one moment of recognition for what I had to do instead of pleas for help followed by silence after they left me to deal with the fallout that helping them caused.

"Of course, you didn't!' I shouted at him only to watch him flinch in response. "None of you ever do. It's always all about how I can help you, but in the end have you ever thought about what it does it me?"

I watched him. He remained motionless as he stood before me, but I could see change in his demeanor. It was contrite and slightly embarrassed. It left me feeling like shit as he stumbled his way through an awkward apology for the sins committed by the others that had come before him.

"What happened to you?" he asked me, catching me off guard with his abrupt question.

"I don't know what you mean," I managed to lie as I turned away from the boy who was watching me too close to be comfortable.

"No, something happened. I can see the hurt from it written all over your face. Something happened, so you might as well tell me," he reasoned as I shook my head in pure defiance. I had done a lot of dumb things in my short life, but confessing my fears to a dead boy was not going to one of them.

"Bella, the first step in trusting each other is honesty," Edward encouraged with an assuring nod of his head, urging me to bare my soul to him.

"Did you read that off one of the posters in the guidance office?" I demanded from him, earning a bright grin before he softly laughed while nodding his head.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean that it's not true." He laughed while moving closer to me. His moon colored eyes were bright with laughter as he looked down at me from his height.

"So, what do you say, Bella?" He asked me with a slight grin that was almost teasing with the way it played upon his full lips. He was daring me to trust him; he just had no idea that trust was not something that I had to give. I had trusted people before and it never ended well.

"I don't think I can help you," I replied to him, telling him the truth, even though I knew he didn't want to hear it.

"You can," he assured me with a nod of his head as he looked at me, trying to sway me with that smile of his. He was charming and handsome. I had no doubts that the boy had to have been absolutely lethal with that grin of his when he was alive, but he wasn't and I had to remember that. I was the one in control here, not some ghost of a handsome boy that knew how to smile just right.

"Edward, I can't help you," I stated in a firm tone as I watched him flinch a little over the harshness that escaped my lips. "It's not _if_ I believe I can help you, it's that I _can't_. Not now. Not anymore."

"Bella, I…" he began slowly with a soft smile that that was strained in the effort to remain persuasive, but I could see through him.

"You don't understand. My mom… she's," I began slowly as I tried to think of to describe the miserable hag without making myself sound like the bitch that she could be.

"I know your mom," Edward stated simply with a soft almost melancholy laugh while I stared in horror. "And your dad…Even though I have a hard time believing that Charlie Swan fathered anyone, let alone you."

"Renee was always a bitch so I doubt that she has changed much," he shrugged while watching me with a soft grin that hinted at some shared past with my parents.

"She locked me up," I blurted out, letting the bitterness of the truth sting on my tongue as it echoed in the empty room around us.

"She thought I was crazy and…and maybe I am," I trailed off slowly as the truth settled between us like a cold blanket. I looked towards Edward who was watching me with a wry smile before shaking his head no at me.

"You're not crazy," he assured me in a soothing manner that only made me laugh at him since who was he was comfort me? He would be the cause of my committal and how well I knew it, yet I could barely find it in myself to disagree with him.

"You are doing something that only a few can do, Bella." He assured me with a melancholic grin as he looked at me.

"Everyone…Well, not everyone, but _almost_ everyone goes through life wondering if they've made a difference, you know? They want to believe that somehow or someway their presence has changed things for the better, even if it's just for one person," he stated with honestly that it hurt to hear it. "You, Bella Swan, you know that you make difference. You get to see it. You get to live it and that is fucking amazing."

His words laced with pleasant astonishment as he grinned at me were intoxicating. They were like balm to bruised well being since I had never considered my ability as anything less than a curse.

"Think about all people, both living and dead, that you have touched," he kinda of chuckled as he shook his head at me in what appeared to be wonderment. "You are so lucky since so many of us have no idea who we affected or if anyone would even remember us when we're gone."

"Edward," I stammered on as I tried to stop him since I could not stand where the conversation was going.

"Bella, I just think you should realize what good you do in spite of all the bullshit you have endured doing it," he stated in a firm tone just as I felt his large, cool hand take hold of mine in a tight, yet friendly grip.

"It makes you beautiful, you know," he commented, causing me to laugh out loud at his ridiculous compliments. "It does. It makes you shine. It's what draws people to you, you know."

"I don't need your half-assed compliments, Edward," I sputtered while a wave of nervous energy wash over me as the pretty dead boy smiled. There was no doubt he knew that he had flustered me with his words.

"What I need to know what you want," I demanded, trying my best to tame the burst of heated embarrassment that was about to burn me alive.

"I told you what I needed," he replied with a small smile that was ripe with victory, even though I had yet to concede anything to him.

"Yeah, about that, you didn't," I shot back with a grin of my own, reminding him of how little he actually told me when it came to him demanding my time.

"So, what is it, Edward?" I asked as he looked away from me, showing me for a split second the doubts he had concerning whatever it was that he was asking for. "Because it better be good. As in life changing, history making good if you want me to risk my life over."

My words seemed to make him stumble for a moment, giving me a chance to break free from whatever spell he had placed me under with his pep talk over my questionable abilities. It was all I needed to launch into tell him the millions of reasons why I wasn't the one he needed.

"You knew my mom, right?' I questioned without ever waiting for his response. "Did you know that the first time she ever caught me talking to a spirit she thought it was cute, but the older I got the less cute it became."

"The first time I was in a mental hospital I was seven. Sure, it was the pediatric ward, but it was a psyche ward all the same. They thought I was delusional and possibly suffering from a psychotic break from reality. It was right after I had come back here for my Grandma Swan's funeral and I had told mom that Grandma followed me home since she worried about her taking of me," I explained as he watched me with a worry etched upon his face. "Mom never let me come back to see dad after that."

"After that I managed to keep quiet about it. I mean, it was a tough lesson to learn, but one that I took to heart," I explained found myself pacing the room slowly as whispered each and every thing that happened as a byproduct spirits in my life.

"There were doctors and pills. Therapy sessions and stragedies, but no matter what happened, no matter where we went _they_ found me." I rasped, feeling my throat close around my words while telling him about my past that I would rather forget.

"I switched schools. We moved. We tried to start over. I tried to be normal. I tried to ignore them, but no matter what happened the spirits would find me and then it all would go to hell," I sighed as I remembered each failed attempted to be the girl that my mother demanded that I would be. There was no need to whisper of hospital stays and the boy I lost in the process. It was pointless since there was no way that this spirit would ever understand all that I had lost up until this moment.

"The last time she had me committed dad got involved." I announced and then watched him flinch over the ugliness of my words. "He came and got me to bring me here. I promised him, Edward. I promised him that I was fine and that I would be fine, but this… this with you isn't fine."

"If something happens where Dad believes that I am anything but a normal teen age girl and it will be all over for me. He'll send me back to mom who will have me in the first facility for the mentally ill that she can get to accept me," I explained softly. He watched me with moon colored eyes that looked more dead than what I had ever seen him appear to be. "No college. No travel. No anything, except doctors and pills mixed in with a fucked up prognosis of how maybe I could be normal someday, but that day isn't today."

My words weighed heavy in the air between us as we stood there staring each other down. I had told him everything. I had given him every reason as to why I couldn't, even though I was felt guilty for saying no.

"So, tell me what it is that is so important that I have to risk my life, my _future_ to help you with?" I asked him as I struggled to clear my throat while he watched me. His silver eyes were wide as I watched him run a hand through his gelled hair, but I could see the tremor in his touch. It was that uncertainty that made him stumble over his words, twisting them into a deep, almost painful sounding sigh.

"Bella, I can't say what I have it so important or what the fuck ever you need me to say to make you understand it." He muttered his way through his lame explanation as I waited while he dragged a nervous hand through his hair once more, twisting at his ginger colored locks that refused to move under the styling products that he had used.

"Do you know what happens when you die?" he asked me abruptly with a serious expression on his face. I had no idea what happened. I was never there when someone died. I came in afterwards after something had gone wrong or there was a message that needed passed on.

"No," I whispered, hating that the boy had something over me, something that I had no experience on for all of my dealings with the dead.

"A bright light comes and you are welcomed into… into," he stuttered as I watched him seek out the right words to say, but even then he could not find them.

"You're welcomed home," he finally breathed out with a ragged sigh that sounded somewhat sick as he continued to look at me, willing me to understand him. "If you don't go into the light, you are left behind."

"Do you know what happens when you are left behind?" he asked me softly. I knew time was meaningless to spirits left behind, but beyond that I had no clue. I had never ventured to ask because it had never mattered to me. Maybe that made me an asshole. I didn't know.

Edward paused, looking at me with those wide ash colored eyes of his. There was a pained look on his face as struggled to speak, but before he could actually say anything to me, Bernice, the ghost from upstairs walked by. She was oblivious to us as we stood in the middle of the room, only focused on reaching the front door.

"This is what happens," Edward whispered to me as I felt the cool touch of his hand wrap around my mine. His fingers weaved between mine before he slowly pulled me with him to follow the lost spirit. I followed him outside to the front porch, never once taking my eyes off the woman who looked years younger before my eyes. She no longer wore a long night gown, but instead was dressed in a 40's era blouse and skirt. It was amazing and horrifying all at once.

"We get stuck, Bella," Edward stated slowly in a soft whisper as I watched the woman walk towards the mail box.

"What do you mean?" I questioned as I watched Bernice open the metal lid and reach inside. I knew there was nothing for her to find since I had already brought in the mail, yet I was stunned to see her pull out a stack of what appeared to be letters, but it impossible to tell for sure.

"We get stuck in the moment," he sighed and my stomach twist with nerves as we both watched the woman open a letter and begin to read. "For some of us it's the moment we died."

My hand clenched his in a desperate grasp that he answered with his own tight squeeze in response. I watched with sick fascination as the woman's pleased smile faded into a piercing scream.

"For others, it's the moment they wish they had." He whispered so softly as I remembered the story he had shared with me over how this woman had lost the man she loved in war.

"She relives this night after night," he stated slowly as if it pained him to even say it. "Losing him was the night she lost everything."

This was her moment and it was brutal to watch.

"Mine would be different," he confessed reluctantly. I jerked with surprise over his admission.

"What would it be?" I asked him without thinking of the consequences of my thoughtless question.

"It's only happened a few times," he whispered, never taking his eyes of the woman as she continued to scream in agony for our ears only. "But it would be the night I died, that much I know for sure."

I knew nothing about the night that Edward had died and I wasn't sure if I could stand to hear it while the woman wailed in the background.

"The feeling of falling was still there. You know, like when you dream that you're falling? That's it right there, except its real and you know... you just fucking know that you are going to die and you can't do anything about it," he rasped, struggling to breathe needlessly. His words left rang out in the night air, tearing at my will to refuse him while Bernice continued howling her pain.

"Edward…" I began slowly as I felt my heart pounding in my chest over the terror that he described as his final moments alive.

Abruptly, Edward turned to face me, his hand never letting mine go as he looked at me with such a painful look etched upon his face.

"I know it's a lot to ask and I know you've been through a lot, Bella. A lot more than what you should have or what was fucking fair, but I can't… I just can't do that every night for eternity. I can't," he stated firmly with a sad scowl on his handsome face.

"I don't even know if I can help you," I confessed my fear to him since I truly had no idea what the boy needed or if I could accomplish what had to be done to save him.

"I believe in you," he replied with confidence shining bright in his eyes. It would have almost been comical if it all wasn't so tragic. Who was he to believe in me when I didn't even believe in myself? He was a spirit that no one could see except me, so what choice did he have but to believe in me?

"What if I promised you that I would protect you?" He asked me unexpectantly, cutting me off at knees with the sob story that was forming on the tip of my tongue while I struggled to tell him no. "What if I promised you that at the first hint, the slightest sign that your future was in any type of danger that I would leave, accepting my fate for what it is, instead of what it could be?"

"I can't ask that of you," I sighed as a tidal wave of guilt washed over me as the thought of this boy living out his nightmare every night for eternality.

"You're not. I'm offering it, Bella," he assured me as he watched me closely. He was waiting to see if I would accept his offer, but it was pointless since I knew there was no way I would say no to this boy. "I just want a chance at going home and you're my chance, so what do you say?"

There was no thinking that needed to be done. I knew what I had to do; even though I had no doubt that it would be a suicide mission for my future.

He waited the space of a heartbeat for me to utter the word that would change both our lives, watching me with those silver eyes of his that seemed to glow with the life that he had missed out on.

"OK."

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Thanks to Hadley, Lou, Andi, Sarah, & Tracy for all their hard work, as well as putting up with me. Love you ladies : )**

**Ok, so I suck. I didn't get review replies done or the teaser poster and I am so sorry for that. I will get them done this time since my project at work is over (thank god!)**

**So, once more teaser for ch 15 will be posted on my facebook page, Fic Teaser Tuesday & all review replies.**

**Until next Wednesday!**

**Love,**

**Mamasutra**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Ok

One word that changed everything for me, but I couldn't find it myself to regret my decision after being swept up in a tight hug by the specter at my side.

"You won't regret this," Edward kept whispering over and over into my hair as he held me tighter than any living boy ever had. His embrace was warm even though his muscular frame felt cool against mine, but it wasn't that which amazed me. It was how real he felt pressed against me. He was all boy and no span of death could hide that.

"Edward," I whispered into the dark sweater vest that he constantly wore before breathing in the cool, sweet scent that seemed to radiate off of him. My face was pressed into the material that covered his hard chest as he held me tight, letting me hear beatless heart as he whispered his thanks to me. The howling cries of the woman outside had died away leaving us in an awkward silence.

"Yes," he replied happily while not releasing me from his hug, instead I felt his hand ghost over my back until it was tangled in my hair while his other hand continued to grip my hip tightly to him. It was a soothing touch as he traced over my spine and up to my shoulders causing a shiver to ripple through my frame as touched me. It was that shudder that caused Edward to stumble back into reality with a tired sigh.

"It has been forever since I could hug someone," he stammered as he slowly broke our embrace, yet never letting go of my hands as he helped steady me back upon my feet once more. "You know… because they can't feel me."

"You can," he commented with a twinge of amazement in his voice as he looked down at me from his height as he brought our entwined hands up between us as proof that that I didn't need. I knew I could feel him, even though I couldn't explain why I could.

"Edward, we need to focus," I stated as I tried to rein him and his touchy-feely side in as his free hand slowly began to trace over my arm, creating a wake of goose bumps with his touch.

"I am focusing," he commented slowly as his eyes followed the path of his touch over my forearm, around my elbow and back to circle my wrist. It was soft and almost loving in how gently he was touching me.

"Your skin feels like velvet," he whispered as his fingers circled my wrist while his other hand griped mine tight. "You can feel this, right?"

It was a ridiculous question from an equally ridiculous boy who watched me with wide eyes of wonder as I nodded my head yes. The pleased smile that graced his handsome face was brilliant as he beamed back at me.

"Edward, I think…" I began slowly as he continued his slow, almost seductive circuit of touching me.

"I can't think with you touching me like that," I stammered as I tried to jerk my arm free, but Edward held me there with him.

"Sorry," he half laughed that made it clear he was not sorry at all. "You were saying," Edward urged to me continue on with what it was I determined to say, but with the combination of confident smile and wicked touch, I was lost in my train of thought.

"You have to stop this," I demanded as he nodded his head in agreement without letting me go. "I mean it, Edward. We have things we have to figure out."

My pleading seemed to slow him down a little as the boy finally put some space between us without ever letting go of my hand.

"You're right," he mumbled with agitation as he dragged me by my hand over to the couch to sit down. "I know you're right. I just can't seem to stop touching you. It has been so long since I could feel anything," he sighed happily as his squeezed my hand in his.

"I just think it's best if we focus on the task at hand," I stated in a steady voice as I felt his hand tighten around mine once more. "I mean, how are we supposed to do this?"

My question caused him to stop the odd hand massage that he was determined to give me and look down.

"You have a plan, right?" I asked him as the boy fell silent next to me. The silence was heavy with guilt and colored the air between us a dark purple which I knew better than most that was the color of deceit.

"You have to be fucking kidding me, right?" I asked him as he shook his head slowly while looking down at me. Embarrassed remorse rolled off of him in waves of purple and blue.

"Not exactly," he mumbled as he brought his free hand up to tug at his over-stylized hair causing it to stand more on end than it originally had. The moment the words left his lips, I felt the swift rise of anger burn through me as I turned towards the boy who refused to let go of my hand.

"What do you mean not _exactly_," I demanded from him in a slow and lethal tone that made the poor dead boy cringe in response to my rage.

"I know I have to save someone," he stated as he turned to look at me with a half-assed grin on his face as if he found the situation we were in somewhat amusing, but he was wrong. There was nothing fucking entertaining about the promise I had made since my future, as well as his, was pinned to it.

"And?" I questioned him as he sat there holding my hand even though I struggled to free it from his grasp to no avail.

"And what?" he asked me, finally turning to look at me with an exasperated look on his pale face.

"And what the hell is your plan?" I demanded as he shook his head no once more. "Do not tell me you don't have one." My demand fell on deaf ears as he sat there quiet while looking at me with those ash-colored eyes of his that seemed to be able to see into my soul.

"Who are you supposed to save?" I questioned him, only to be met with more silence. The silence was damning since it told me the boy had no fucking clue what he was doing or how it would get done.

"Edward, how in the hell are we supposed to accomplish anything if you are this fucking clueless," I growled in frustration just as he decided to actually speak.

"I was only told that I would know who it was and what needed to be done when the time came," he blurted out in a rush of words that were tinged purple with embarrassed guilt. His words made some sense for all the madness that came with them. I knew enough of the hereafter that nothing came easy and second chances were rare. Because of this, I should have known that Edward's path would be far from easy. I should have known that making a promise to help him would be nothing short of impossible, yet when I looked into his dove gray eyes, I couldn't say no to him.

Edward continued to watch me for the space of three heart beats, letting me cool down as I stared at the spirit at my side.

"You can back out if you want," he mumbled as I felt the grip on my hand slowly loosen, signaling his defeat as I sat there, overwhelmed with what needed to be done.

"I'm not backing out," I assured him since I wasn't. Sure, it would be a challenge, but nothing was impossible. His relief rang out loud in the form of nervous laughter. It did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves as I watched him enjoy the small moment of happiness that I allowed him. His hand was wrapped tightly around mine as I shifted in my seat to face him better.

"Who told you this?" I asked as I watched the smile on his face fade a little.

"What do you mean?" he asked me slightly confused as to what I was asking of him.

"Who told you that you had save someone?" I blurted out, not caring about the bluntness of my question. We were past pleasantries now or so I had told myself as I watched Edward meet my hard stare with a surprised one.

"Jasper did," he offered with a grin as if that explained everything.

"I need to meet this Jasper since I have some questions for him," I stated with a firm nod of my head.

"Oh, you are going to love him," he snickered softly while squeezing my hand in his, but I could hear the sarcasm drip from the words he spoke as he shook his head at me before explaining that he had no idea how to get a hold of Jasper. It wasn't what I wanted to hear, but Edward kept assuring me that he would here soon since Jasper was aware of the situation and wanted to meet me as well. It did little to make me feel better, but I conceded with a sigh that I had no choice but to wait on this angel before we could move forward with our nonexistent plan.

The conversation lulled as I curled up on the couch, listening to him talk about where he had been and what he had done in the vaguest of terms possible until he was suck into the couch cushions next to me. Edward looked relaxed and more than at home sprawled out next to me, watching me with a pleased smile on his face while stroking my hand with his in an absent-minded manner like it pleased him just to touch me. It was embarrassing, yet I could not find it within me to deny him what little please he seemed to gain from it.

"So, you're Charlie Swan's kid?" he asked while eyeing me with a slight grin. I could see the amusement in his eyes as he watched me while lounging there. There was nothing amusing about being Charlie & Renee Swan's kid. I had learned that early on since being their offspring came with more baggage than most. It came with custody battles and therapy bills, which were the gifts that kept on giving.

"Dad says that he knew you," I whispered over a loud yawn, earning myself a bright smile as he nodded his head while trying to pull the boy off the typical path of discussing mom like most everyone did when my lineage was discussed.

"You asked about me?" he asked with a pleased grin that bordered on teasing me as he tugged on my hand playfully. His soft teasing caused a tidal wave of nerves that tied my stomach into a knot before I had the chance to crush it with a snotty scowl.

"I just wanted to know who I was dealing with. I mean, there are rumors that you went on a killing spree and what not…And I'm not helping you if you are a killer and… and I have a right to know who's haunting me," I shot back with a snotty grin that made the boy laugh out loud at my over reaction to his teasing.

"Jesus, get a grip, Swan. I was just teasing you." He laughed loud and vibrant, canceling out the purple in the air with the bright yellow of his happy laughter. "To answer your question, he did. We were friends. Well, he was friends with my younger brother, Emmett, and he was on the wrestling team with me," he explained with a laugh as I continued to scowl at him.

"What?" he demanded from me with a smile as I continued to stare at him.

"You're older than my dad?" I questioned, trying to hide my disbelief, but failing miserably at it. The idea was a foreign concept since to me, my father was old. He was used up and broken by what life had given him, yet this boy was anything but that.

"I was… by two years, but not so much anymore," he commented with a wry smile. "That's the thing about the living, Bella, They keep on living, growing, and changing, but when you're dead, you're just… stuck."

His words were dark, stunning me into silence with the brutal honesty that he stated with sweet smile that was heartbreaking.

"So, Swan, what do you think?" he asked, pulling me from the melancholy of the moment and back to the present with him. It was a good save from the bleakness of the moment; the only problem was that I had no idea what to think.

"I think we need to figure out who you are supposed to save and then save them," I sighed as I tried to fight off a yawn, earning a laugh from the boy who was too much at ease at my side.

"You make it sound so easy," he mumbled with a laugh as he shook his head at me in disbelief. It was true. I was down playing the whole situation. I had no idea what he truly needed to do and neither did he: I just knew we had to accomplish it.

"How hard can it be?" I asked him with a flippant smile that made Edward laugh loud since he knew the truth better than what I did. We were facing the impossible since I had no experience when it came to something like this, and the odds were more than stacked against us, but there would be no backing down now. A promise was a promise.

**AN:**

**Thanks for reading! Thanks to Hadley, Sarah, Tracy, & Andi for all their attention to detail and reading this mess. Love to you ladies!**

**Thanks to the lovely lady at ADF for the sweet rec for this story. I am honored that you felt it was worthy of sharing with others.**

**As always, I will be posting teasers to ch 16 on my facebook page, in review replies and as well as try to make the Tuesday Fic Teasers.**

**Until next Wednesday!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

_How hard could it be?_

Those words haunted me more than the boy who had taken to being my shadow.

"I don't know why he's not here yet" he asked out loud in a meaningless manner as he laid across my bed on a lazy Sunday afternoon. "Every single time I don't want to see him, the asshole appears like he knows how much his presence wrecks my day, and now that I need him, he's nowhere to be found."

"Edward, have you ever thought that maybe he has nothing more to say?" I asked without looking up from my biology book as I was trying to focus on my studies instead of the boy who was taking over my room.

"What the hell does that mean?" he demanded in an irritated tone while lifting his head from my pillow just long enough to scowl at me like a child who had been told no.

"What I mean is maybe this is on you to figure out."

I waited for his smart ass comment that always seemed to follow my doubt about his angel friend or his own ability, but instead he shook his head in defiance at my suggestion.

"Come on, you have to admit that this is very much a possibility." I urged him to see my way of thinking when it came to this unreliable immortal that had left us hanging.

"I can see what you're saying, but you don't know Jasper," he countered back with a gruff know-it-all tone and matching smart ass grin. "He wouldn't do that to me."

"Hasn't he left you wandering around for thirty years waiting to be called home?" I shot back, knowing that it would sting and then sat back to watch my words hit their mark. Edward did not disappoint either as his grin faded from his pale face only to be replaced with a dark scowl. It was wrong for me to behave that way, but he had to realize that maybe, just maybe, he was wrong, and I was right.

"Twenty-nine."

"Whatever, Edward, I'm just saying I think we're wasting time waiting on this guy. I think what we need to do is figure out what is needed here and just move forward," I commanded with confidence, releasing my half baked idea about what we should be doing instead of waiting on this so called angel.

"What is there to move forward with?" Edward asked with an uncertain look on his face as he waited for me to elaborate, but the truth was I had no idea. I had no clue where to begin or what we should be looking for; I just knew we needed to start.

"What is there not to move forward with?" I countered with nonsense and a bright smile as he eyed me with doubt. "Listen, you said that we were on the clock, and we are, Edward. We need to do this since every moment we wait is a moment lost in getting you where you need to be and me one day closer to my future."

I hated to remind him of what was at stake, yet it had to be done. One of us needed to be reasonable and focused. Unfortunately, whenever it came to spirits, the reasonable one always had to be me.

"Let me think about, ok?" he asked as I looked at the overly anxious boy who was hanging on my words with the hope that I would figure out what was needed to complete this mission of madness.

Monday morning I awoke alone, and it was a reminder as to what could be if I helped this boy. It was all the incentive I needed to focus on what was needed instead of what I could avoid. I lost myself to the thought of what Edward needed, but the truth was I didn't know. I knew so little about moving beyond the human world that I was out of my element in trying to see what he needed to get there. If I believed the stories of men then I had to believe that when Edward died the light came to him, but that left me with wondering why Edward didn't go into it since that was out of the ordinary. So many of the spirits I had encountered didn't have the chance to go into the light, let alone reject it like Edward must have.

I passed through the crowded school halls much like the ghost I was thinking of, letting myself get lost in the idea of how he came to be since that might tell us what needed to be done to correct it. Try as I might none of what little he had told me made any sense as to how he came to be.

I was midway down the hall when I felt his strong hand slip into the small of back. I didn't need to turn to look to know who it was, so instead I let Edward guide me through the crowd towards an empty pocket in the hall while attempting to protect me from the students that crowded close.

"Did you miss me?" I heard him ask with a laugh in his voice while leaning close, and as much as I wanted to tell him no, it would have been a lie. I had missed him and his constant need to talk or touch me. He was growing on me in a way that others hadn't and as much as I wanted to hate him because of it, I couldn't.

"No," I whispered as I brought my hand up to cover my mouth to disguise our conversation as if I were politely masking a yawn.

"Aren't you cute covering your mouth to hide talking to me like any of these idiots are paying attention," he teased as he continued to guide me towards what was my last class of the day. I knew he was right. No one was watching, but I wasn't about to take a chance.

"Bella!"

"Oh, damn it," I muttered, letting my footsteps falter for a moment as I recognized Mike's voice calling out to me. That gave him the lead he needed to catch up with me just as I felt Edward's strong arm slip around my waist, easing me next to him as if Mike Newton was some type of a threat. Feeling him pressed close in a protective stance caused me to drop the charade of ignoring Edward in order to give him a well earned sarcastic scowl.

"What?" he countered with a shrug, yet not loosening his grip on my hip at all as he looked down upon me with a half grin that was too playful to be serious. "It's just Mike," I whispered to him just as Mike approached with a wide grin. Edward watched us curiously with a look that left me stuck between laughing and cringing over his perplexed expression.

"Hey, I've been trying to get a hold of you all weekend," Mike stated as he reached over to grasp a loose lock of my hair that had escaped my pony tail only to give it a soft tug. It was a playful move that was no doubt his attempt at flirting with me. It was also just enough to make me wish that that the tiled floor beneath me would open up and swallow me whole instead of having to endure this nonsense.

"I…Uh, I was busy," I commented as Edward pressed closer, pulling me to him and away from the boy.

"Oh, ok," Mike stammered, letting his nervousness show with the crazed bobbing of his head. It was his ridiculous behavior that oddly endeared Mike to me, even though it seemed to be having the opposite effect on Edward.

"Oh, Bella, this guy is a fucking winner," Edward snickered softly as he continued to hold me to him. I could see that he was shaking his head out of the corner of my eye, yet I couldn't look at him without looking like a weirdo.

"So…uhm, I was thinking we'd go and see that ghost movie that everyone is talking about," Mike continued on as I watched his face turn from a friendly pink to an embarrassed red before my eyes. It was kinda sweet, and maybe if I was someone else with less to do, I would be flattered by it all, but the truth be told, that wasn't me.

"I don't know," I managed to say slowly, as I tried to come up with the right words to let this boy down properly, but before I could even find the words Edward cut me off with a booming laugh that caught me by surprise.

"Did he just ask you out?"

"Say yes," Mike encouraged me, practically willing me to agree to this date that I didn't want with his hopeful grin.

"You have to be fucking kidding me," Edward laughed in a mocking manner that made my blood run cold as it echoed every comment my mother made concerning someone being interested in me.

_ Boys like pretty girls, not crazy girls who talk to their imaginary friends._

"Sure," I mumbled as guilt won over my practical need to be left alone.

"Great," he responded with a smile that was implied that he won something instead of a date with me. "I'll call you later." It was eager reassurance that made me smile before Mike caught me off guard with a kiss on the check before ducking into the class room that we stood just stood in front of as the bell rang.

"What the hell was that?" Edward demanded in disbelief as I tried to run towards my class only to have him hold me in place next to him. His grip on my arm was unbreakable no matter how I twisted against him.

"I have to go," I whispered to him as I shoved against his form before finally looking at the boy who held me captive in the now empty hall.

Edward looked at me with an irritated amusement that caught me off guard.

"Not before telling me what the hell that was about," he replied as he dragged me towards the doors.

"I don't have to tell you anything," I stated in a low voice, trying my best to keep my voice down, but no matter what I did, it seemed like my voice echoed in the silence around us.

"Now that's not true, Bird girl. We agreed that we were on the same team with one goal," Edward chided me while pushing me into the girls' bathroom to avoid being caught in the hall without a pass. It was nice move, but one I wasn't in the mood to appreciate.

"You're making me late for class," I grunted as I tried to push him out of my way with a sharp shove, but he didn't budge. He stood in my way, blocking me like the asshole he was being. His hands held me, firm, but far from cruel, letting me shove at him but never letting me go.

"And you're acting like a spaz, so why don't you tell me what's going on?" he inquired almost playfully as he held me in place, trapping me in the dingy bathroom when all I wanted to do was to get away from him.

I looked up into his silver eyes and could see the amusement shining back at me. It was just enough to add to my embarrassment as I felt the sting of tears. I hated being the source of his mockery since it was just another reminder of how I was a failure.

"Please let me go," I demanded softly, cringing over how weak I sounded when I should have been raging over him judging me.

The moment my words escaped my lips, Edward let me go. His hands that I had grown accustom to being upon me whenever he was close dropped immediately, freeing me from his grasp so quickly that I stumbled backwards in response to being free. I quickly caught my balance and walked out, trying my best to school my features as well as tears, but it was too late. I could not stop the tears as I stumbled down the hall, past my math room and finally out of the school.

I could feel him following me even though he remained silent. His presence loomed over me, not really leaving me even though it was what I needed.

"Bella," he sighed after a long moment of silence. I could hear the uncertainty in his voice that sounded an awful lot like fear.

"Can't I just have a moment? Am I not allowed even that?" I shot back at him, not caring who might hear me as I stormed down the street towards my home. I could hear his troubled sigh as he followed close by, always hovering just like the needy spirit he truly was.

"Swan, you have to tell me what I did back there that hurt you because I have no clue what just happened." He tried to soothe me, breaking the silence with his nonstop talking once more.

"I'm not hurt," I replied stiffly, hating that he was calling me out on what had happened instead of letting me sulk in silence like I was accustomed to.

"You're a horrible liar," he snickered softly as I stiffened beside him. I did my best to mask it as I turned to walk up the brick sidewalk that lead to my front door. Edward remained close at my side. He was quiet as he waited for me to unlock the door and walk in, waiting to have me out of the line of sight of other prying eyes before continuing.

"You're face turns red, and you can't make eye contact when you lie. Really, you'd be a horrible crook," he grinned as I turned to face him. I wasn't sure if going toe to toe with him was the best idea, but it was the only way to show him that I was fine. Besides, he was wrong. I was a fantastic liar. I had learned from the best.

"I do not."

It was denial, but even as I spoke the words, I could feel the heat creeping up my neck to my face proving him right.

"Oh yeah?" he teased me as I felt his hands upon me once more. His touch was soothing, sliding along my arms until he was able to grasp my hands with his. "Look me in the eyes, Bella, and tell me that you're not upset with me."

I accepted his challenge with a soft grin of confidence, knowing that he was about to lose as I met his gaze.

I was wrong.

"You were saying?" he questioned me, pushing me to lie, as I felt his grasp on my hands tighten for a moment before he let them go to trail his fingers up my arms. It was whisper of a sensation that was just enough to cause a wave of goose bumps to follow his touch.

"I can get a date," I blurted out, failing at the one skill I had learned in all the psych wards I had been a patient at. My confession seemed to confuse him as the over confident smirk on his face was replaced with one of pure puzzlement.

"I am not boring… or crazy," I continued on, listing every reason my mother had ever given me as to why I would never be worthy of any one's attention, especially hers. "And some people even think I'm pretty so…So, yeah, don't be so amazed that someone wants to date me."

I watched Edward as he continue to stare at me with that confused look on his face until slowly it was replaced with a shocked look that morphed into a grin of enlightenment.

"You think that I was saying that about you?" he asked with a shrill tone of amazement. I didn't acknowledge his question since I had done enough damage by sharing some of the baggage that I was burdened with.

"I would never say that about you," he soothed, but it did little to ease my bruised ego and twisted embarrassment for even sharing that with him.

"Bella, I was talking about that guy," he continued on with a laugh as if that explained everything, and maybe it did, but my nagging self-doubt refused to let me believe him. "He's a total tool, and you… you shouldn't date a guy like that."

His words made me laugh as I looked away from him since Mike wasn't a tool. He was boring. He was sweet, too sweet to be with a girl like me.

Abruptly, Edward's hands cupped my face, forcing me to look at him. In all the unending hours I had spent with the boy over the weekend, I hadn't really looked at him before. I knew he was cute. I had seen it in the picture that hung up on the wall in the trophy case at school, but seeing him before me with an honest smile and an earnest look in his eyes as he pleaded his case only emphasized how handsome this boy was.

"I don't know what happened to you, or where you learned to think that you are anything less than amazing," he stated so simply that there was no doubt that he believed the line he was selling me. "But believe me, you are."

I could not stop from rolling my eyes at his dramatic declaration, but instead of wanting to argue over my disbelief, Edward just laughed.

"Bella, you are a pretty girl who is smart and interesting. You have a light about you that is just…beautiful, and everyone can see it," he stated simply with a soft grin that caused a storm of nerves of crash over me, twisting in my stomach to make me nauseous as he held me in place with his gentle touch. "You are so out of his league, and he knows it too."

"Edward you don't understand," I began as I attempted to correct him once more, but he refused to listen to me.

"I understand perfectly. It's you who doesn't understand," he assured me with a smile that shined in his eyes as he looked at me, willing me to believe him. I wanted to, but a few sweet words were not going to erase years of self-doubt. "If I was a live I would ask you out."

"If you were alive you would be almost fifty, and that would be gross," I blurted out awkwardly in response to his weird confession as I felt a nervous rush of energy from his compliment. Edward broke out laughing at me in a loud and boisterious manner that made me want to smile along with him. It was enough to cut through the syrupy sweetness that surrounded his words and give me the space I needed when it came to him.

"I mean if I was eighteen," he corrected with a laugh as he let go of me just long enough for me to step away from him, not that it mattered since Edward quickly followed me. His hands were upon me once more, holding mine softly in his as if he needed to touch me to show that he could.

"I was thinking…," I began slowly as I intertwined my fingers with his, just giving in to need to touch me. "Where is that you go when you're not with me?"

"Why are you jealous?" he teased me as I rolled my eyes in response to his ridiculous statement. I wasn't jealous, but I was curious. I wanted to know who else he was spending time with since there was the chance that they were involved in what he needed to do to pass over into the light.

"Fine, whatever you have to tell yourself to make this ok, Swan." Edward laughed as he sat down beside me. "I go check on my brother."

"Emmett Cullen?" I questioned as the image of the broken man that I had seen him with at the coffee shop flashed before my eyes and Edward nodded his head.

"He's a little…" he began slowly, but I finished his statement for him.

"Lost."

"Do you think it's him?" I asked him, not elaborating on what I was speaking of since it the same the question that had lingered in the air between us since I had agreed to help him.

"I don't know. I mean, sure he's a little lost, but he's been ok," Edward tried dismiss my suggestion, but his denial only added to my curiosity. I stood up, letting go of his hand, determined to find out if my hunch was at all correct.

"Where are you going?" he asked as I walked towards the front door with a burst of determination that made him laugh.

"I'm going to see Emmett," I replied and then watched the boy scramble to follow me out of the house with my father's car keys in hand.

Edward directed me as a drove down the Mulberry Street. It was bursting with life and action as the newer houses gave way to the older more majestic looking homes. Each one was well taken care of with their cheery flowers and welcoming signs as Edward told me to slow down and then finally to pull into the long drive way to the one house on the street that was lacking in vibrancy.

The house itself was large and still in good shape, but it was lacking life, much like the man who resided there.

"This is home," Edward announced with little joy as he motioned towards the large, old house that loomed before us. "We grew up here, and when mom and dad moved Emmett stayed."

It was simple explanation as to how Emmett got the house, but there was so much more to the story than what Edward was telling me. I could see it in the emptiness that surrounded the one lively home.

"Why did he stay?" I asked him. Edward didn't respond, instead he just shrugged. "You know, don't you?"

"You remember when I told you that it didn't matter if you told him I was at peace because nothing changes anything?" he asked me, his eyes never leaving the house that looked more haunted the boy at my side. "Well, that's why he didn't leave. It doesn't matter."

His answer made no sense, but I was growing used to it.

I parked the car and looked at the house while trying to shake off the trepidation that was causing my hands to tremble as I opened the car door to get out.

"Where are you going?" he demanded as I stood up to approach the door.

"I'm going to see Emmett," I replied with more confidence than I felt as I took my first steps toward the front porch.

"No, no, no," Edward practically chanted as he chased after me, appearing before me to block my path.

"We have to know, Edward. We have to know if it's him since right now I don't have anything else to work with," I countered back, him block me since going to knock on the door to face the man was the last thing I wanted to do.

Edward stood before me with a scowl firmly in place, refusing to move, not that I blamed him. It was a suicide mission to approach the man, I knew this.

"If you have better idea, I would love to hear it, otherwise get out of my way while I try to help you," I stated firmly before pushing him out of the way. Edward gave way easily as his scowl morphed into a look of horror with each step I took closer to the house.

"What are you going to say?" he demanded as I walked up the steps. I hadn't really thought about it, but as I crossed the threshold of the porch, it came to me.

"Don't do this," he called as I rapped on the door, announcing my arrival with a three sharp knocks.

"Please?" he pleaded with me as I continued to ignore him. The bile rose high in my throat as I listened to the scraping of the locks, telling me I was seconds away from being face to face with Edward's brother.

"You can't do this," Edward bellowed loudly just as the front door swung open to reveal an aging man who vaguely resembled the ghost boy at my side.

"Mr. Cullen?" I questioned as the man looked me over with a critical eye. He didn't trust me, not that I minded since I didn't trust him either.

"You're Charlie's kid," he commented as he met my gaze with his dull one.

"Yes," I stated with a smile as he watched me, waiting for something more than this introduction while Edward pleaded with me to leave.

"You don't know what you're doing here."

"I don't want to involve him."

"He's been too involved as it is."

"Can't you just listen to me, Bella," Edward continued to demand as he stood firmly at my side, not budging as I smiled for his brother.

"My dad was wondering if you would like to come over for dinner," I offered as Emmett stared.

"I, uh…sure, I guess," he sputtered, suggesting that I had taken him by surprise with my lie. I watched as the lines around his eyes softened as he gave me a bright smile, which only made me feel like shit for lying the way I had.

"Uhm, Mr. Cullen, he wanted me to ask for that folder back," I stated as I watched Edward tug nervously on his gelled hair.

"Your dad wants to see the folder?" he questioned me with a hopeful look that was too reminiscent of Edward to make me feel good about the expectation that I was generating within this man.

"Yeah," I lied sweetly as Edward shifted next to me, trying to stop me once more.

"This isn't it. I know it's not him. It can't be him otherwise I would have already done it, and I would be gone," he rambled, trying his best to stop me, but it was too late. The words were already spoken; the hopefulness was already there.

"Come on in," Emmett encouraged me while Edward continued to make his case. I walked into the hallway, marveling over the open stair case that was beautiful, but obviously neglected judging by the dust that had gathered upon it.

"Please, Bella?" Edward pleaded as I entered what would be the dining room. The large formal table with seating for six greeted me, even if it did need some loving care, but it wasn't the once decorative furniture that caught my attention or the ghost at my side who was demanding that I leave. It was the giant diagram that decorated the empty wall that caught my attention.

In the center of the diagram was Edward's picture. His bright smile and love of life was out of place for the entire red spider web like lines that splintered off from it in all directions. Some of the lines connected to pictures of people that I recognized, like the picture of a younger version of my dad mixed in with pictures of Emmett and what looked like crime scene photos intermingled with the picture of a pretty girl whose smile was every bit as mysterious as it was lovely.

"Here you go, and just have Charlie call me, so we can set up that dinner," Emmett said with a pleased grin as he handed me a beat up folder full of papers, pulling my eyes away from the bizarre photo out line on the wall.

Emmett walked me out, talking on about good times with my dad and how he was looking forward to a dinner that my dad knew nothing about while I agreed stupidly.

"Thanks," I called out to the man as I started my car; Edward, who had been begging me to stop what I was doing, sat at my side, silent with a grim expression on his face.

"You know it's him, don't you?" I asked Edward as I backed down the drive and on to the street. Edward didn't answer, but his silence was more telling than anything he could have said.

"You have to save him."

**AN:**

**Thank you so much for reading! A special thanks goes out to Hadley, Tracy, Sarah, & Andi for all their hard work and encouragement. Xoxo ladies.**

**Sorry to those that I did not get teasers out to. I think I had about half done before losing time due to an all day doctor appointment. I will try harder this chapter.**

**As always I will post teasers for the chapter on Facebook as well as a bonus teaser in my group there and in all review replies.**

**See ya next Wednesday!**

**XOXO**

**Mamasutra**

"I


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